Writing Gremlins

I considered not posting anything today, but that seems cowardly. And seductive, because once you stop writing for one very good reason it starts breeding and suddenly you're buried under a small mountain of Reasons Why I Can't Write tribbles.

I have other writing gremlins, too, and I thought I should give them all proper names:

Bouncing Boogerat: Feeds on nasty rejections from snotty editors and piddles on any attempt to get over them by writing something new

Cast Crusher: Squashes the life out of characters one by one until the cast falls apart

First Line Fumbler: Scrabbles and scratches at the first line of a story while demanding it be rewritten a few thousand times

Happily Ever After Harpy: Screeches in outrage over any logical story conclusion that does not imitate an animated Disney flick finale

Plotwrecking Pouncer: Slithers out from unseen holes to hoot over the slightest inconsistency

Series Sniveler: Whines incessantly for prequels, sequels and spin-offs and is never satisfied

Title Trasher: Demolishes every potentially decent title by insinuating that there is a better one just waiting to be thought up

I'd like to say that I've developed a way to exterminate these little pests, or at least neuter them, but no such luck. For every story I write a whole new swarm of them pop into my head; sometimes they cross-breed and produce even uglier gremlins (the first line fumbler and the HEA harpy have spawned a whole slew of little chapter crashers and scene snakes.) So I've learned to live with them, and not to feed too much of myself or the work to them; most of the time that keeps the damage to a minimum. Unless the Depression Demon shows up, at which point I hide under the bed.

Your turn: in comments name one of your gremlins (writing or otherwise) and how you've learned to manage them.
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Published on November 15, 2010 21:00
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