Please fire me. I am a security guard in a low-rent shopping mall. One of my first tasks of the day...

Please fire me. I am a security guard in a low-rent shopping mall. One of my first tasks of the day is to open the doors to retailers at 7:30 am so they can open their shops for 9 am. Every morning a group of women greet me when I open the first door on time, then follow me to the other three doors. At the final door they check their watches, tut and complain that I’ve opened it ‘late’ as it takes me eight minutes to get from the first to last doors. They then leave and don’t return until 7:30 the next morning.