18: LUX ��� FRAGILE MENTAL HEALTH & A CAT, MAY 2, 2014

May 2nd, 2014 is a date scorched into my brain. That is the day Lux attacked.

Things started out calm and quiet. Though I had been trepidatious at first, Lux seemed over his outburst and back to his friendly self. A little too friendly, I realized after the fact. He was craving attention and affection. I was happy to give it to him, hoping and praying that yesterday had been a fluke, a mistake, a hallucination ��� anything but a prelude to the behavior that caused a grown man to call 911 on his cat.

I was working on my computer, Lux beside me, on top of me, on the keyboard, on my lap. He was hyper so we played for a while to diffuse the energy of the big young boy. Finally it was time for me to make dinner.

I got up and started for the door. Instantly Lux began to growl, and before I���d walked two steps, he was in full-blown outburst mode again. Adrenaline hit my system, and I moved faster for the door. Yes, I was scared shitless! He rushed me from behind, clawing one ankle and biting deeply into the other. I screamed and pushed him away, got through the door and closed it. He threw himself against the door, trying to get at me.

In tears, I called Jackson and Jim. I didn���t care who I talked to so long as someone helped me make sense of what had just happened. I knew I had to get medical help for the bite: cat bites can be terribly infectious and I needed antibiotics immediately, but if I went to emergency, they would put Lux in bite quarantine, and that would be all sorts of bad. In the end, I went to my clinic where a doctor who happened to be a cat-lover let me convince him both wounds were scratches and though deep, didn���t require a report to the county. Lux remained anonymous, I got my antibiotics, and all was well.

All was not well. Since I was a child, I have been prone to anxiety and panic attacks. They come more rarely now, but the event with Lux threw me head-first into the abyss of mental anguish. It happened��so fast I didn���t know what hit me. For those who have suffered mental disorders, you know. For those who haven���t, consider yourselves blessed and take my word that the best description of the place I go without a moment���s warning is hell. Hell. Though his attack had instigated, it wasn���t Lux���s fault, nor was it mine, but I was in hell.

…..continuing………..