A Kitten’s Guide to Caring for a Sick Human

Most humans assume that a kitten’s life is fun and carefree, full of cat toys and play. But sometimes things happen and kittens wind up with their paws full of grown up cat jobs. My life has certainly been like that, with all the traveling I’ve had to do and shows I’ve competed in. Then last week, my human got sick and I had another grown-up cat thing to learn! And it wasn’t easy — Sparkle didn’t leave any notes about caring for sick humans (my human says she was usually conspicuous by her absence whenever she fell ill), and Binga and Boodie weren’t exactly the best examples of feline nurses. So I sort of had to make it up as I went along… but from what I hear, I did a great job! So I thought I would offer some tips, in case any kittens out there wind up in the same position I did.

Tip #1: Keep an eye on your human, but you don’t have to be on top of her 24/7.

Humans can be needy when they are sick, but you don’t have to nurse them one-on-one throughout their whole illness. In fact, sometimes they don’t even want you hovering over them. If they are in extreme pain, or very feverish and sweaty, it may even be uncomfortable for them when a kitty’s on top of them. This is one lesson, by the way, that Binga has never gotten. She thinks she should lie on humans all the time and lick them nonstop. If my human is crying in pain, she has even been known to bite her! Don’t be like Binga, give your sick human space if she needs it (and no biting at all).

Tip #2: Use your feline intuition to figure out when your human needs the most care.

The day my human required the most nursing was when she was the quietest. She had a bad reaction to the meds that the doctor gave her and she was nauseous most of the night. She was determined to get my blog post in, however, so she alternated between lying down and napping and spending the 20 minutes she could sit up at the computer, helping me with the post. And I was there for her for the whole night. When she was lying down on the couch, I would jump up on the pillow and curl up by her head, and when she would get up to go to our home office, I would follow her and jump on the office chair and hang out behind her. She must have gone back and forth something like 20 times, but I never left her side the whole time. It was a lot of work, but it was quite rewarding (plus I got a completed blog post).

Tip #3: Be generous with your healing purrs.

It’s a proven scientific fact that a cat’s purrs have healing powers, so use them liberally. In addition to physical healing, purrs are also emotionally healing for your human, and they will calm her and help her be in a positive frame of mind.

Tip #4: Remind your human that life is about more than just being sick.

Humans tend to lose themselves in their illnesses and act like whatever they came down with will never end. As a cat, it is your job to remind them that someday they will be active and have fun again! This is especially easy for us kittens, because we get the zoomies all the time. I spent a whole morning chasing Binga and Boodie down the hallway and up the cat tree in the bedroom, and we were all enjoying ourselves so much that it was infectious! All that activity from us kitties really helped my human to feel lots better. So just because your human is sick, don’t think you have to tiptoe quietly around her all the time. In fact, sometimes you should do just the opposite.

Tip #5: Don’t ease your human back into her normal routine — send her flying with all four paws!

Of course, you have to make sure she is mostly better before you do this, but do not let her nurse her illness. Sometimes humans cling to being sick longer than they need to, and this is very bad for them. So once you’ve sensed that she has mostly recovered, go back to knocking things off the table, breaking into cabinets and puking on the rug. When Binga did the latter and my human did not get totally upset, we all knew she was going to be okay.

I hope you’ve found these tips useful! Let me know if you have any nursing tips that another kitty might find useful.
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!