LiLa's Space-Time-Publishing Theorem

Over the past two years we've been gathering scientific evidence to create a mathematical equation that may or may not result in us winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah, it's THAT good.

If you're not a mathematical genius you should probably just stop reading now because you're about to read one of the most complex space-time theorems (yeah, technically I think it's an equation, but theorem sounds so much more impressive, no?) ever created. For those of you who aced pre-Algebra, hold onto your hats because this is going to blow you away.

PT = RT(1,000,000)

So here's a quick illustration for you:

You submit a manuscript to your agent or editor and they tell you that you should hear back from them within one week. If you're anything like us by the time you hit day five, you're spending roughly 12 hours a day refreshing your e-mail*. So let's apply LiLa's Space-Time-Publishing Theorem, shall we?

PT = 7(1,000,000)

So...publishing time equals 7,000,000 days. Shazam! Get that finger off the refresh button because the human race will probably be extinct before you hear back.

You're welcome.

*It should be noted that I refreshed our e-mail approximately 30 times as I typed this blog post. I'm like Russell Crow in A Beautiful Mind, cursed to have conversations with imaginary friends and dream up conspiracy theories about people deleting my e-mails before I can read them. Being a genius is totally exhausting.