ARE YOU A VAULT, OR DOES YOUR LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS?

I was watching an episode of “The Real” on Friday. That’s my show, and those are my girls! They were discussing gossiping and whether or not they could keep secrets. The discussion focused on how men were bigger gossips than women, although people usually believe the opposite.


Gossip can be entertaining and funny as we discuss marriages, births, new relationships, who came into a windfall and so on. Yet, it can be alternatively devastating to someone's life if it turns malicious. Some people don't care whether or not it turns malicious, if it's gossip then they want to be a part of it. They will even make up something if they don't have anything to gossip about. I've found that these type people are usually bored or dissatisfied with their own lives, so they make up false facts or flawed facts about the lives of others. False facts are flat out lies, whereas flawed facts usually have an element of truth to it, but the gossiper has added some "hot sauce" (to use my husband's words) to make the story more interesting.

Well, I took to Facebook to get a few of my friends' opinions. There were four focus questions and not surprisingly the answers remained somewhat the same, with a little variation in the reasoning. Here are the questions and the answers:

Do you listen to gossip? 50% of respondents said they do listen to gossip, and 50% said no. Of those who said they do listen to it, they believed it was difficult not to listen to it and if it turned into bashing or disparaging comments about others they disengaged. Some felt they only listened to be nosy. Of those who didn't listen to gossip they had an overwhelmingly negative reaction to gossip. They had either been victims of gossip or believed it was simply malicious to be a part of it in any form. Do men gossip more than women? 75% of respondents believed men and women gossip equally.When it comes to someone telling you their secrets do you consider yourself "a vault" or do you adhere to the saying "loose lips sinks ships?" 75% said they are a vault and don't tell secrets. However, some stated that they don't share the secrets if it was told to them in confidence. That leaves me to interpret if they weren't asked to keep it in confidence, then those loose lips just might be sinking some ships. LOL! I'm just saying...If you do gossip, what is the determining factor of whether or not you're going to share the gossip? 33% of respondents said they do participate in gossip, as in being the gossiper. But they stated they had good reasons. Their reasons were either for informative purposes, believing the recipient of the gossip needed to hear the information, or if it was over a common interests (e.g., love of books).
Well now that I've put them out on blast, I guess I have to keep it "real" and put myself on front street as well. So here are my answers to those same questions:
 Do you listen to gossip? I am a bit nosey so I want to hear what's being said about whom. Now if the gossip centers around who broke up with whom, whose getting in a relationship, or whose having a baby, I like that kind of gossip. But if the gossip is malicious and spreading untrue rumors about others, then I want no part of it. If I believe the parties involved in the gossip would have a problem with what's being said, or be hurt by what's being said then I find a friendly way to shut it down without listening further. I have even been known to chastise the person spreading the gossip in a loving, Christian manner. I simply point out the impact that the gossip could have, but more often than not I politely change the topic of conversation. I grew up in a family full of gossiping women and they still gossip the same as they ever did...even about each other. And unfortunately I have been a victim of that malicious gossip even at the hands of my own family. Do men gossip more than women? I wouldn't say more than but about the same amount. Although, I have seen some men that gossip more than women. Now as I say this, I have been around plenty of men growing up who gossiped, and even now the men that I've been around gossip. When it comes to someone telling you their secrets do you consider yourself "a vault" or do you adhere to the saying "loose lips sinks ships?" I have grown to become a vault. I wasn't always that. As I said I grew up in a family full of gossiping women and I wanted to be a part of it just as much as they were. Yet, when I became the victim of it I started changing my mindset. As I continued to grow and especially after becoming a Christian that mentality completely changed. The most important part of that change was honoring my husband and representing who he is and what he stands for. He always holds others' secrets near and dear to his heart. I've learned to do the same, out of a love for the people who trust me and the respect that I have for them.If you do gossip, what is the determining factor of whether or not you're going to share the gossip? If I do gossip it's usually about something silly, as I said in #1 who's having a baby, who's getting in a relationship, those kind of things. I love that kind of stuff because it's usually considered good news and I can't wait to celebrate that person. But if it isn't good news to that person, then I leave it alone. That gossip also is restricted to my family members. And I feel I can do that because I have mad love for them and it's never malicious gossip!
So that's me keeping it 100! What about you? If the same four questions above were posed to you, how would you answer them? Have you ever been a victim of malicious gossip?
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WRITING MY DREAMS,
CHELLE RAMSEY