Trooper Stories (Rants and Musings)
You'll think this is funny. It gets funnier as it goes. Read it.
My boy had the flu this week (not officially diagnosed since we were able to keep him home, hurrah!) and I spent more time suctioning secretions (snot, for the non-medical people out there) and temperature testing and force-feeding Gatorade than I did doing anything else. But he's well now and past the point of contagion, so I'm feeling happy even though it's too cold to go outside, anyway.
Here's my story: Yesterday I left the house to do some visiting since my husband was available to sit with Trooper, and Trooper was feeling well enough that I felt comfortable leaving him for more than twenty minutes in a row. Before I left, I set Trooper up with some play-dough and assorted play-dough toys to keep him busy since he still wasn't well enough to play without his ventilator. When I got back, Jonathan told me this tale, complete with his preferred present tense mixed with past tense,
"So I'm sitting at the other end of the table and Trooper is playing with his play-dough, and all of the sudden he starts whining, saying 'It hurts!'. I ask him what's wrong and he says his nose hurts, and pretty soon it escalates to full blown crying. I got up to comfort him, so I was hugging him and trying to find out what was wrong and he blows a great big wad of play-dough and snot out of his nose. A bunch of it went on the table and I caught part of it in my hand."
My first thought--I'm glad I wasn't there because it would have made me gag. He always throws up on me, and that's really gross, but for some reason snot is MORE gross.
My second thought--I wish I had been there because I wouldn't have let him shove play-dough up his nose in the first place.
My third thought--Why do boys always do this kind of stuff? I never hear about girls sticking things up their noses and in their ears. I remember one of my brothers sticking a penny up his nose. A WHOLE PENNY! Into his nose! And of course my parents weren't home and his nostril was stretched so tight and the penny was so far in there that we couldn't get our fingers in to pull it out. We ended up getting it out with tweezers, which, looking back, wasn't a great idea since we could have lobotomized him or something, but anyway, he was a BOY. And my other brother, also a BOY, stuck a bean in his ear and said he wanted to see what it was like to have a hearing aid. Also required tweezers. I'm still glad I have a boy, it's better than worrying about all the girly things, but sometimes…
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My boy had the flu this week (not officially diagnosed since we were able to keep him home, hurrah!) and I spent more time suctioning secretions (snot, for the non-medical people out there) and temperature testing and force-feeding Gatorade than I did doing anything else. But he's well now and past the point of contagion, so I'm feeling happy even though it's too cold to go outside, anyway.
Here's my story: Yesterday I left the house to do some visiting since my husband was available to sit with Trooper, and Trooper was feeling well enough that I felt comfortable leaving him for more than twenty minutes in a row. Before I left, I set Trooper up with some play-dough and assorted play-dough toys to keep him busy since he still wasn't well enough to play without his ventilator. When I got back, Jonathan told me this tale, complete with his preferred present tense mixed with past tense,
"So I'm sitting at the other end of the table and Trooper is playing with his play-dough, and all of the sudden he starts whining, saying 'It hurts!'. I ask him what's wrong and he says his nose hurts, and pretty soon it escalates to full blown crying. I got up to comfort him, so I was hugging him and trying to find out what was wrong and he blows a great big wad of play-dough and snot out of his nose. A bunch of it went on the table and I caught part of it in my hand."
My first thought--I'm glad I wasn't there because it would have made me gag. He always throws up on me, and that's really gross, but for some reason snot is MORE gross.
My second thought--I wish I had been there because I wouldn't have let him shove play-dough up his nose in the first place.
My third thought--Why do boys always do this kind of stuff? I never hear about girls sticking things up their noses and in their ears. I remember one of my brothers sticking a penny up his nose. A WHOLE PENNY! Into his nose! And of course my parents weren't home and his nostril was stretched so tight and the penny was so far in there that we couldn't get our fingers in to pull it out. We ended up getting it out with tweezers, which, looking back, wasn't a great idea since we could have lobotomized him or something, but anyway, he was a BOY. And my other brother, also a BOY, stuck a bean in his ear and said he wanted to see what it was like to have a hearing aid. Also required tweezers. I'm still glad I have a boy, it's better than worrying about all the girly things, but sometimes…
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