What is Marriage?

What is marriage?  I mean if someone were to ask you what it is what would you say?  I imagine most would have a different answer things like, friendship, love, sex, misery, no more fun.

I think it’s really easy to forget what marriage actually is.  God set up marriage as a vow. He set it up so that we would have to make a commitment before others.  Why is this?  Why can’t we just say I do in our living room with no one around?

Because marriage can be extremely hard and it’s vital for us to have taken a vow in front of others to remind us that we are committed to each other.

In dating we see primarily all of the good in our significant other.  Then once 2 people get married, the walls come down, and the secrets come out, the dirty laundry has to be aired, and the annoying habits come out of the closet.  For many this is scary and it causes people to run, some may think they’ve made a horrible decision or married the wrong person. But this simply isn’t true.

The same things happens with everyone.  No matter who you marry, there will be arguments, disagreements, hurt feelings, and frustration.  That’s simply part of it.

But marriage ultimately is an act of service.  Think about it.  How much less would you be disappointed in your marriage if you completely stopped seeking to gain things from it, and instead focused all that negative thinking on ways to give to your partner.

We live more than ever in a “what’s in it for me society”.  This is detrimental to marriage, because it turns us into selfish people that focus only on our own needs and wants.

Marriage is about giving more thought to your spouse than yourself.  If you are struggling in your marriage, try getting the focus off you, start studying your spouse again, seek to cheer them on, uplift them, and make them happy.

You might just find things can change and turn around.  Remember you made a vow of commitment.  Remember you married your spouse because of deep feelings you had towards them.  Feelings change yes, but your love and friendship towards them doesn’t have to.  That’s a choice.  What are you choosing?