So, I overheard two of my heroines talking about me...

Marcy Pantano, the heroine of my novel "Corpus Delectable," and Siobhan Noguerra, who is due to make her debut later this month in my newest book, were having coffee and chatting as they sat at one of the outside tables at the Pi del Cugat cafe near the Placa Llibertat.
They didn't see me as I sat nearby on a park bench and since I didn't want to intrude on their conversation I didn't say anything to them.
Besides, I was reading the eBook version of Eric Czuleger's "Immortal L.A." on my tablet and enjoying the hell out of it. I am a writer but I am also a reader and when I'm really into a book... Well, if you're also a reader you'll understand why I didn't want to disturb them or be disturbed myself.
That all changed, however, when I heard my name mentioned. Being a former reporter, I started taking notes. Here's what Marcy and Siobhan had to say about me, authors in general, the writing process and some of what they like and dislike about their characters.

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MARCY: So, has Mike finished writing and rewriting your story yet?
SIOBHAN: It's kind of hard to tell. I mean, you know how he is... Just when you think he's finally done with a chapter he jumps up in the middle of the night, goes downstairs and starts making changes. It's annoying because, you know, I'd like to get a full night's sleep now and then.
MARCY: He was the same way when he was writing "Corpus Delectable." I finally had to put my foot down and tell him he had to quit rewriting and just finish the damn book.
SIOBHAN: Did that work?
MARCY: Yeah, though every now and then I'd catch him sneaking a look at a chapter we both agreed was already finished. When I caught him doing that I'd just give him "The Look" and he'd go back to doing what he was supposed to be doing.
SIOBHAN: I think I'll try that because there are days when I could cheerfully strangle him. Are all authors like him, do you suppose?
MARCY: Probably, though some are likely to be more inclined to rewrite than others. I think authors get it into their heads that every sentence has to be worthy of a Nobel Prize in Literature. I don't think they're giving Nobel Prizes to people who write crime novels, though, so who knows why they develop this obsession with writing and rewriting the same chapter over and over again.
SIOBHAN: I'm beginning to think that all authors are at least a little crazy... What I don't understand about him is that he was a reporter for almost 50 years. I know he didn't get to do eight or nine rewrites of his news stories, especially because there were many times when he had to pound out three or four in a day.
MARCY: Yeah, I know... It's a mystery all right.
SIOBHAN: Speaking of mysteries, do you have any idea why he seems to have this fascination with Buffalo? I mean, in "Corpus Delectable" you were born and raised there though you now live in Delaware. In my book he's got me living and working there. Heck, we even went to the same Catholic high school. How weird is that?
MARCY: I'm not sure exactly why he seems to like Buffalo so much. I know he worked there for the old Courier-Express before it closed and then worked for a while at the Buffalo News. I think he likes the city and I also think he didn't want to pick the same old places for his books. You know what I mean: So many books are set in places like New York, Chicago, Boston and L.A. that I think he wanted to do something a little different.
SIOBHAN: Well that makes sense, I guess.
MARCY: I had lunch with Dana Redwing and Elizabeth Thompson recently and their novel is set in a place called Ashtabula, Ohio; probably for the same reason.
SIOBHAN: Dana Redwing and Elizabeth Thompson? I don't know them.
MARCY: They're characters in his Steampunk novel "The Ashtabula Irregulars: Opening Gambit." I think you'd like them. Dana is an inventor and her mother, Elizabeth, is a widow who heads the family.
SIOBHAN: Why are they called "Irregulars?"
MARCY: Well, in addition to the other things they do, they're spies who work for Mycroft Holmes.
SIOBHAN: Cool. I know I want to meet them now.
MARCY: I'll get in touch with them. Maybe we can all do dinner sometime next week.
SIOBHAN: That would be great. They sound fascinating.
MARCY: They are that, and they're both really strong characters.
SIOBHAN: Well for all his obvious faults, I have to admit that Mike doesn't shy away from strong female characters in his books.
MARCY: No, that's for sure. We may have some insecurities but all of us are pretty strong, especially when it counts.
SIOBHAN: So, is there anything you'd change about "Corpus Delectable" if you could?
MARCY: Well I'd like to have spent more time with my boyfriend, Quinn Bowman. He and I get together a couple of times in the book but I'd like to have had a few more chapters devoted to our time alone... Especially the time we spent in bed.
SIOBHAN: I don't know Marcy, those scenes of you and Quinn in the bedroom were kinda hot.
MARCY: Spicy maybe but not really all that hot I don't think. I mean, have you browsed some of the erotic literature out there? Wow. I'm no prude but, really...
SIOBHAN: Well at least you got to have sex with Quinn. In my book I don't have a husband or a boyfriend and I don't even date casually.
MARCY: Is that because you lost part of your right leg in Afghanistan?
SIOBHAN: Partly that, partly because I'm tall and, I guess, partly because I'm pretty self-contained. The way he's written me I never really did date, even in high school or when I was in the Army. We're going to have a story conference tomorrow and I'm going to bring up the fact that I'd like to at least snuggle with somebody.
MARCY: Well, he's pretty open to suggestions from his characters.
SIOBHAN: I hope so... Right now I'm a little worried because I don't have a title for my book. His working title is "The Case of The Disagreeable Dog" but I've told him as plainly as I could that he needs to come up with something better. "The Case of the Disagreeable Dog" just isn't going to fly.
MARCY: There's a disagreeable dog in the book?
SIOBHAN: Well, there is and there isn't. In the book The Disagreeable Dog is the name of a bar on Elmwood Avenue in Buffalo. It's owned by a friend of mine and that's how I get involved in trying to solve the mystery of a missing rare book.
MARCY: Don't tell me, he got the idea because there are some disagreeable dogs in his neighborhood here in Reus.
SIOBHAN: You got it... they bark all the time and it sometimes gets on his nerves.
How he went from that to a mystery novel is beyond me.
MARCY: I know. He came up with "Corpus Delectable" because he was covering a murder trial and, for some reason, one day he couldn't say the words "corpus delecti." It kept coming out as "corpus delectable." He wrote that down in one of those notebooks he always carries around and, one day, he just started writing about the murder of a fashion model - a real delectable corpse.
SIOBHAN: Authors... Really, who knows how their minds work? It's as though they just don't think like normal people.
MARCY: Well, they can't... I mean, authors aren't normal people. Not really.
SIOBHAN: I guess you're right. Look, I hate to break this up but I've got to get to the gym.
MARCY: I should be going too. Mike's been working on a sequel to "Corpus Delectable" for almost a year now and if I don't nag him he'll start a dozen new projects and never finish it.
SIOBHAN: You got that right... He was working on my book early this morning when he suddenly decided that he wanted to put together a collection of his short stories.
MARCY: God, I hate when he does that.
SIOBHAN: I know, right? It's really frustrating and really, really annoying... Hey, thanks for the coffee and conversation. Give me a call about dinner with Dana and Elizabeth.
MARCY: Will do, and remember, you're a strong female character so at your story conference tomorrow make sure he listens to you.
SIOBHAN: Count on it... see you.
MARCY: Later...

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