The Worst Films of 2014

As with my Ten Best list (which you can see here), my annual listing of the worst is highly subjective. This is my take and overlooks terrible films which I was spared seeing as well some "critic's darlings" where I dissented. In roughly the order of release:

1. "The Grand Budapest Hotel" - When it comes to Wes Anderson's films I feel like the boy in the story "The Emperor's New Clothes." He is showered with rave reviews in spite of the fact that he can't tell a coherent story, gets some of the worst performances of their careers from his actors, and directs like a kid with an Etch-a-Sketch. This was less horrible than "The Royal Tannenbaums" or "Moonrise Kingdom." That didn't make it good.

2. "The Other Woman" - The lovely and talented Cameron Diaz has been on a losing streak of late, and this may have been the worst. Discovering that her boyfriend is, in fact, married, her fabulously successful lawyer teams up with the wife and his other mistress to get revenge. It includes laxatives, which is what this movie needed. Awful, demeaning, and not funny.

3. "Blended" - Third time wasn't the charm for Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. In "The Wedding Singer" and "Fifty First Dates" she made him appealing instead of aggressively stupid. Here -- as single parents taking their respective broods on an African vacation that seems more like Disney World -- they're just embarrassing.

4. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" - Seth McFarlane followed up the surprise hit of his raunchy comedy "Ted" with this thuddingly unfunny western spoof. Talk about beating a dead horse. Lots of bodily waste and a lot of big stars can't help distract us from the fact the film's star -- director McFarlane -- can't act.

5. "Obvious Child" - You know the romantic comedy is in desperate need of rescue when this arthouse film about an alleged comedian getting an abortion is treated as one. Unlikable characters don't make it any more endearing. Hard to believe this actually was praised in some quarters.

6. "Third Person" - Paul Haggis ("Crash") wrote and directed this three interlocking stories of romance in Paris, New York, and Rome. In spite of a big name cast (including Liam Neeson, Mila Kunis, and Adrien Brody) the stories make less and less sense as they go on, and the big "payoff" will leave you wondering why you wasted over two hours watching it as well as what the studio executives who greenlit the project thought they'd be getting.

7. "Tammy" - Not even Melissa McCarthy's fans came out for this embarrassing road trip movie involve McCarthy's usual aggressively stupid character and her alcoholic grandmother (Susan Sarandon in a career low). Can the failures of McCarthy and Sandler (see above) mean that Hollywood will finally stop making these films no one wants to see? Don't count on it.

8. "The Best of Me" - Hack writer Nicholas Sparks returned with this romantic sludge that was so contrived it's amazing that even his fans bought it. Beautiful star-crossed lovers get put through the mill again with a payoff that may be the most laughable climax of any serious film this year.

9. "Foxcatcher" - People loved it or hated it. This story of three passive aggressive people involved in preparing the 1988 USA wrestling team for the Olympics may leave you wondering why the story is even being told, especially if you're unfamiliar with the true life facts. A dull and unpleasant couple of hours.

10. "Exodus: Gods and Kings" - Ridley Scott "improves" the Bible by ignoring the story and coming up with his own version, including Moses and Pharaoh meeting on the bed of the Red Sea... as the water is rushing back. Other 2014 Bible movies, like "Noah" and "Son of God," had their problems but assumed people wanted to see the stories they knew. Scott decided what was really needed was a new version of "Gladiator."

And... it's pointless to point out how bad "Transformers: Age of Extinction" was. It was a "Transformers" movie. Of course it made no sense. Anyone paying to see the films at this point deserves what they get.