Change is Good
For the last 10 years, the kids and I would make a ritual to visit the grave site of their mother, release some balloons, go to lunch and spend the day together. Something different happen this year. Nicole, my daughter said she needed to talk to me about visiting mothers’ grave. I turned the television off and focused my attention on Nicole.
“Dad, I don’t understand why we go every year to mothers grave and celebrate her death. I understand when we were little why you did it out of respect. Now that we are older I’m confused as I don’t see why we have to make it a big ritual, the same thing over and over. I miss mom every day and the way I see it, I’ll miss her 60 more years. I’m sure mom is okay with us not visiting. I miss mom more on the important dates, graduation day, when I get married, my first baby, etc. Each day is hard”. Nicole is in tears.
It was difficult not to get teary-eyed myself. At first I was somewhat hurt that she wanted to do something else, it was like a routine, something I look forward in spending the day with the kids. Then it dawned on me, it’s not about me, it’s about her. I told her I was making that day special as I thought it was what you kids wanted, something we’ve done every year. I shared that early I had made an appointment on that day to install some draperies, and then realized I need to have that day off, then scrambled to get things moved around to have that day off.
The next morning while at breakfast Nicole and I brought it up with Brandon and he too agreed with Nicole. Later that day we went bowling and then dinner, and realized on the way back we never made it to the grave site. I asked the kids “are you okay with this”? They both said “Yes”, and I too was okay with it.
Shift Happens
By making the change of not visiting the grave site, along with few other changes a shift happened to where I actually had a wonderful Christmas. I admit the last 10 years has been pretty painful during this time a year, where the wounds of the soul are reopened of memories, healings and wondering. In the past, the first few year the tears would get heavy around August and continue until January. As the years move on so did the months until Christmas. This year the tears didn’t happen until only a few days from her death. Time heals the soul.
I believe the other changes come from my prayer partner from class. We pray for each other every day, giving each other spiritual mind treatment and meditating. By speaking more affirmative within has shifted and created that space of love, joy, and happiness. An enrichment of healing is filled with deep love for each other as we dig deep into our souls of knowing God is Good and God is with us at all times as we are connected among each other,that our thoughts make up the next day. By choosing better words and sentences we can change our destiny. It goes like this; S + R = O. Situations + Response = Outcome. Whatever situation and response equals your outcome for the next day. It is here you begin to make better choices for a better outcome.
Another shift was finishing the book; writing FANTASTIC was difficult as it kept me stuck in the past for nearly four years. During the time I wasn’t aware that it was keeping me from moving forward. Traveling to the past is dangerous as you can become stuck and dwelling on the good and bad times. It feels so good to be done and moving forward, knowing that God has my back and more Fantastic times ahead.
Love and Blessing
Kirk Axelson
Fantastic Friday
The post Change is Good appeared first on Fantastic! Every Day is Friday!.
