Welcome to 2015
So far 2015 is warm and humid and conducive to gentle thought. Also to reading three books at once and to completing projects.
Part of my gentle thought has been about 2014, of course. Some of the highlights of my life happened last year, but overall it wasn't really an easy twelve months. 'Slow sorting of big lifestuff,' is how I characterise the year as a whole, punctuated by the most amazing people and the most amazing experiences and the signing of those seven novels.
I think a lot of the good in 2014 will show up in 2015 and 2016. What I have now (apart from the really awesome memories of those six SF conventions and spending more time than I've ever been able my whole life entire with people who speak my language) is one novel that people seem to like and the realisation that if I don't find that job soon I'll have to give up more than I thought. I didn't quite realise how rich my life was becoming until a bunch of people in a bunch of countries let me know. It was an astonishing moment of truth.
I have a moment of lucidity now. I can see what my life can be if I find the job that will allow it to continue in its current direction. I can see how to make it bearable (but only just) if I have to give up most of my dreams. And my health is on track for either direction.
Not what I was expecting at my age. It's the same decision as I faced when I was 26, with the same job market. Instead of short stories, I have novels and non-fiction. I've come a long way since I was 26, but I still might have to choose to lose chunks of my life if I want to continue. Money is a tough limit. Anyhow, I can make the choice again. This time, I'm double the age and know myself a lot better.
I'd rather not make the choice. What I want 2015 to bring is a job where I can teach the subjects I love and work on my research (and my little corner of changing the world) and publish much and entertain readers and attend SF cons. I want to be more political, for Australia's not in a place where one should sit back and wait for things to improve. And I want to spend time with my friends. And cook. I want to cook. Also to do a cookbook for fandom and help out with various projects (worldcons, translation - some very cool stuff lurks in my interstices).
If 2015 is going to be a watershed year for me, then it's going to be as rich and as amazing as 2014, with fewer downsides and possibly not quite as many world-shattering moments. It'll be a challenge, from any direction.
Part of my gentle thought has been about 2014, of course. Some of the highlights of my life happened last year, but overall it wasn't really an easy twelve months. 'Slow sorting of big lifestuff,' is how I characterise the year as a whole, punctuated by the most amazing people and the most amazing experiences and the signing of those seven novels.
I think a lot of the good in 2014 will show up in 2015 and 2016. What I have now (apart from the really awesome memories of those six SF conventions and spending more time than I've ever been able my whole life entire with people who speak my language) is one novel that people seem to like and the realisation that if I don't find that job soon I'll have to give up more than I thought. I didn't quite realise how rich my life was becoming until a bunch of people in a bunch of countries let me know. It was an astonishing moment of truth.
I have a moment of lucidity now. I can see what my life can be if I find the job that will allow it to continue in its current direction. I can see how to make it bearable (but only just) if I have to give up most of my dreams. And my health is on track for either direction.
Not what I was expecting at my age. It's the same decision as I faced when I was 26, with the same job market. Instead of short stories, I have novels and non-fiction. I've come a long way since I was 26, but I still might have to choose to lose chunks of my life if I want to continue. Money is a tough limit. Anyhow, I can make the choice again. This time, I'm double the age and know myself a lot better.
I'd rather not make the choice. What I want 2015 to bring is a job where I can teach the subjects I love and work on my research (and my little corner of changing the world) and publish much and entertain readers and attend SF cons. I want to be more political, for Australia's not in a place where one should sit back and wait for things to improve. And I want to spend time with my friends. And cook. I want to cook. Also to do a cookbook for fandom and help out with various projects (worldcons, translation - some very cool stuff lurks in my interstices).
If 2015 is going to be a watershed year for me, then it's going to be as rich and as amazing as 2014, with fewer downsides and possibly not quite as many world-shattering moments. It'll be a challenge, from any direction.
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