O Christmas Tree

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. Matthew 1:25

Mike Royko was a popular newspaper columnist in Chicago for more than thirty years. Like many columnists, Royko created fictitious mouthpieces with whom he could “converse,” the most famous being Slats Grobnik, the epitome of the working class Polish-Chicagoan.

In one column, Royko tells the story of how every December, Slats Grobnik would sell Christmas trees in Chicago. And on...