Revisions
So there I was…staring at the computer screen. I had finished the first final draft of my second book a month ago and, like conventional wisdom suggests, had put it away for a few weeks to percolate. In that time, two beta readers had gone over my pages and made suggestions and comments. I was eager to make the changes I agreed with and start finessing the next version. I had one of their marked copies in front of me, the file was open on my computer screen, and a steaming mug of Oceana coffee sat to the right of my laptop. Only problem was, I didn't know where to start.
How do you start a revision?
I picked up the pages and thumbed through them. There were red marks indicating where I missed a comma (quite a few) or when I spelled something wrong (less due to spell-check, but far from non-existent). I started with those changes then went back to staring at the screen.
I decided I needed some professional help. I consulted my file on advice from editor Ally Pelitier from her seminar at the Florida Writers Association Conference.
#1- BACK UP EVERYTHING
I plugged in my zip drive and hit copy. Step one completed in two and a half minutes. Maybe this revision thing wasn't so bad after all.
#2- READ OUT LOUD, SLOWLY
I read two paragraphs out loud to the carved wooden statue I brought home from Papua New Guinea before I halted. Did I just say that? Ugh, it sounded dorky. I retyped a different phrase and began reading again.
#3-LOOK FOR UNNATURAL DIALOGUE
Ally advises:
Check for contractions and use of formal or informal speech. Does your character talk that way? Are the voices of each character different?
Well, that should be an easy one. I write memoir, so one of the characters is me. It stands to reason that I would write me the way I speak..right??? Turns out, I don't.
#4- TOO MUCH "TELLING", NOT ENOUGH "SHOWING"
This happens a lot in my first drafts when I rush to get the story down on the page. I went back through and looked for places where I could set a scene.
Ally advises:
Be descriptive and show with emotion, body language, action and dialogue rather than tell us "She was angry"
Avoid boring words like beautiful, attractive, elegant, embarrassing, wonderful, interesting. They do not tell us anything.
I searched for those terms. It seems I used them a lot in this first draft.
#5- INEFFECTIVE USE OF NOUNS AND VERBS
Tighten writing by looking for the perfect words. Replace 'melting snow' with 'slush' or 'ran quickly' with 'sprinted'.
Ooh, I could do that. It is like a game. I love word games. What's another word for tasted?
#6- PASSIVE VOICE
This is my demon in first drafts. I knew I had to pay attention to this. Ally suggests one trick is to circle and analyze all "to be" verbs: am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been and then rework the sentence to make it stronger.
Hmmm, there are a lot of red circles on my page.
#7- USE OF CLICHES-
I knew these are considered lazy writing and over-used, but I really thought the Bahamas were as hot as hell in chapter six.
#8 DOUBLE CHECK
Now that I had started changing things, Ally suggested looking for places where I cut a sentence but left the period. Or, when I reworked a scene but forgot to change the lead-up in the previous chapter. It was good advice as I now had Corfu on the wrong side of the Corinth canal and our first mates name had changed from Hans to Dylan in all but two spots.
#9 GET ANOTHER OPINION
I spent two weeks going over changes and reworking the manuscript. Only problem was that now I was more confused than when I started. I read, re-read and re-re-read and then printed it out and sent it back to another critiquer to make sure I hadn't missed any glaring errors.
So, here I sit, having just finished the second final draft and waiting again. This leads me to the last piece of advice Ally said in her speech. "Revision is not only about writing. It is about thinking, then writing a little, then thinking a whole lot more."
What about you? What is your revision process? Do you have any tricks?
Victoria Allman has been following her stomach around the globe for twelve years as a yacht chef. She writes about her floating culinary odyssey through Europe, the Caribbean, Nepal, Vietnam, Africa and the South Pacific in her first book, Sea Fare: A Chef's Journey Across the Ocean.
Victoria is a columnist for Dockwalk, an International magazine for crew members aboard yachts. Her column, Dishing It Up, is a humorous look at cooking for the rich and famous in an ever-moving galley.
She also regularly contributes tales of her tasty adventures to Marina Life Magazine and OceanLines.
You can read more of her food-driven escapades through her web-site, www.victoriaallman.com
