25 Songs of Christmas: Dec 11 – In The Bleak Midwinter

Some times I post this song without comment because I just love it that much. I can listen to it over and over and not get tired of it. In fact I love it so much that when I woke up after a terrible nightmare I couldn’t shake I resorted to singing these lyrics in my head.

You see this has felt like a pretty bleak midwinter to me. I am sure you all know by now that the culture of violence has really bothered me pretty badly as of late, to the point I have lost a lot of sleep and a lot of tears, mostly over my sense of helplessness. I feel the call, I feel the spirit stirring. But I also help hopeless about my lack of ability to actually affect the situation in a positive way. I know this world is crying out now as God people have called out through all of human history. I want so badly be a messenger of Christ’s love to the world. I want to be part of the voice crying out in the wilderness. I want to stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution. I want to help foster real lasting change. And yet nothing I do seems to be enough to make a real difference. At this rate it will take millions of people working for another million years to turn things around and how many lives will lose before that happens?

And now you see why I have nightmares.

But as I lay awake, singing internally, trying to keep the dark images at bay, the beautiful imagery of these lyrics began to take over. Snow falling on snow, earth hard as iron, water like a stone. Cherubim and Seraphim. Angels and Archangels. A young mother’s holy kiss. These were certainly things better than what I’d awoken thinking about. But was it just a pretty escape? Did the world of the song fit anywhere in real world of my life? Was it even a dream I could dream right now? And if so, if I could dream it, did that mean I was called to peruse it in some way?

How could I ever contribute to ta world like that in the midst of such hatred and oppression? What could I offer poor, and tired and limited as I am? If I were a wiseone I would know my part. And yet, what can I give Him? Give my heart.

Yes, maybe that is simple. Or maybe the business of committing our hearts to something isn’t very simple at all. Maybe it’s the only way. Maybe it really will take millions of people millions of years working with all of their hearts all of the time, but if so let me be one of the million, let me give my heart.