Secret Agents and Other Bullshit

Part of the busines of writing and publishing is being known. Am I right? Okay, well perhaps I should say for most of us who want to achieve some level of success, it's being known. How's that you bunch of whiners? Jeeze.

I've really just had it up to here (points to nose-eye level) with anonymous agent, editor, publisher, author blogs who dole out advice to us noobs and yet hide behind some silly or ominous pseudonym and then become offended if someone dares to question their reliability. Well shit, how reliable would you find a gynecologist that goes by the name Mr. Feely and wears a PeeWee Herman mask and a clown wig every time he sees you? How about a mechanic who calls himself Handy Manny and covers his face with a welding helmet (what are they called?) and refuses to sign his invoices with anything other than The Man? Not very frigging trustworthy if you ask me. I'll tell you, if Mr. Touchy said I needed another pap because last week's was inconclusive or Handy decided that I needed $700 in repairs to my brand new car, I'd definitely question their advice.



So perhaps these examples are like comparing apples to oranges and perhaps I do tend to exaggerate my points just a little, but you do get what I'm saying, right? Today was like the straw that broke the proverbial camel or whatever. I read a post, very nicely written, disagreeing with an anonymous agent blog. No, I won't get into particulars here as I'm sure a million other blogs will be posting said links defending either side. Anyway, the nicely worded disagreement cited none other than the Shark's response to this original anonymous blog. (are you dizzy yet?) Again, Ms. Reid was herself and didn't mince words. Sure she could have written the post without fuck or crock of shit, but where's the fun in that? Where's the shark in that? She is what she is and makes no apologies. I like that. I don't like someone who offers advice which contradicts other advice but hides behind a pseudonym. I don't like writers defending this anonymous advice as though it were the gospel and we writers were a bunch of sissies who'd never heard the word fuck.



I'm still learning the world of publishing and I'm querying agents at a dizzying pace collecting rejections faster than I can record them on my little organizational spreadsheet. I don't always know who is right and who is wrong. But I do have a brain in my head and I often use it. (I know, hard to imagine) I can pick out good advice from bad and I know that I would trust someone who lays their cards out there for everyone to see rather than playing them close to their chest. I don't like poker, it's irritating and stressful and I don't enjoy playing games it when I'm trying to establish myself and my writing.



So, there's my thoughts on that. If you can't be real, then don't expect anyone to take you seriously.