Ode to Another Sleepless Night

“…nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love…” –Charlie Brown

And, of course, then there’s being unable to sleep because the heart is heavy. Heavy with the loss of loved ones you never really knew. Heavy with the knowledge that a two-year old died in a sterile hospital room, the result of a pretend grown-up feud. Heavy with the knowledge that true love is slowly slipping through your fingers. Heavy with the knowledge that sometimes love just isn’t enough. Heavy with the knowledge that little boys can be killed as easily as a pesky insect. Heavy with the knowledge that life is hard and always will be. Heavy with the knowledge that sometimes there are no rainbows, only rainy days. Heavy with the knowledge that you no longer know who you are or are supposed to be. A simple poet or revolutionary? Isn’t it revolutionary enough just to get up every day and try to love those who can’t find the path to self-love? Is it revolutionary enough to get in touch with your natural roots? Sometimes there are just more questions, with very few answers for you. And those are the nights when sleep eludes you. So, you sit up at two a.m. and you make yourself a peanut butter sandwich, but it doesn’t taste quite right, and, of course, you wonder why.

Ode to Another Sleepless Night

My heart is like a boulder

I carry around in my chest;

It hurts to feel it there &

sometimes I just can’t breathe.

The pain of carrying the boulder

obscures all the good

I used to see. Now

all I can see or feel is

how the inability to breathe

is slowly killing me.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind