Hi Gail, I was wondering if you ever noticed a difference in the way dialogue is written for men and women? I've been panicking a lot about it, that I'm getting the dialogue wrong for my female characters. It's more that I just don't want to screw up any c

Okay, there is a common thing that people say now, just to write the dialog for female characters like you would for a male character, and not worry about it. I think the people who say this mean well.

I think that might work for some people to a certain degree, but I can’t help feeling it’s devaluing women in a way, it’s like people who say, “I don’t see race,” when of course, they see race everywhere.

I think it’s closer to say that women have all the same motivations and driving factors that men do. If a motivation works for a guy, odds are it will work for a female character, too. 

And if you are a writer, understanding motivation is really all about putting fuel in the tank. If your character has fuel in the tank, you can drive them places.

I can’t tell anyone how to write women’s dialog. But, I would say a few things to consider.

1) I would say be careful about idealization. I am kind of tired of perfect women, and what I find is, a lot of female readers like the IDEA of a perfect female, but they don’t get as INVESTED in those characters. None of the female Birds of Prey are perfect, none of the female Secret Six members are perfect, Ms. Marvel and Captain Marvel are not always flawless. They are allowed to make mistakes. 

2) Be careful that your female characters are not purely reacting to others. I often see, even with good writers, female characters who are mostly swept along for the ride, with no actions coming from their OWN intent and character. This is something that Dorothy Gale got right where a lot of modern characters do not. Give them a goal and let them head towards it.

I realize these aren’t specifically about dialog but that’s such a personal thing. If your character is established, if their wants are out there for the reader to see, it’s much, much easier to put words in their mouth that feel real and vibrant.

Good luck!