U Turn
We all have faced this situation more than once—wishing if life could take a U turn. Men discuss it over beer with their friends, women dream of it at kitty parties. But have we ever tried to figure out if there are actual U Turns in life?
Well, not once or twice but maybe thrice in a day, I wish if there were U Turns. This obsession has made me discuss, research and decipher this topic more than a normal soul. However, I was not able to articulate the same. No until I was speaking with a friend who articulated it beautifully.
Life has only 3 exits. The first, Exit 1 welcomes you just as you have got on the highway of life. Packed butt to butt, with crawling and snarling traffic, it is be a frightening sight. With sweaty palms and trembling feet as you press the pedal, your mind is divided in two; to be or not to be. You are just out of school or maybe college. Young, brash, confident and overflowing with energy. Those dream filled eyes and hope filled heart knows no boundaries. Life awaits you, either with open arms or bare fangs, depending on the choices that you make.
Your first choice could be the first exit; off the highway on to a freeway, for good forever, exploring the crystal blue sky and lush green meadows. The choice is simple—of career. This is the point where you get lured by the comfort of a nine to five job, a secure conventional career, of being a doctor, engineer or an MBA grad. Though you know the unconventional, lesser known - lesser sure career choices too—being a poet, writer, musician, a painter, film maker, activist, a photographer, a model, even a hair stylist or a make-up man. But the lack of security make us shun them. Also, we know that the unconventional career choices only support exceptional talents. Mediocre in any unconventional career gets weeded out in no time, as there are no takers. It is only a 9 to 5 job that sustains mediocrity, also pays them. They day you choose a conventional career your first exit route is blocked. You have to drive on the highway, with no U turn, no side lanes for long—till you reach the next exit; Exit 2.
This second exit comes after long. Still on the freeway, fighting blaring horns, screaming people, letting the carbon monoxide fill your lungs, you have been sitting inside your car. Looking ahead of you. All you could see is a serpent like queue, slithering ahead. You curse yourself for not taking the Exit 1, getting off the dammed cursed road, living life the way you would have liked. You look around, searching for a U Turn. But there is none. Also, you are not as young as you were when you got on here. At 28 or maybe 30, the cells have already started to degenerate. It was just the other day when the first grey hair shocked you. Mornings, noon even evenings are not exciting any more. You drag yourself to work and back home, drowning pent up frustration in pint, everyday.
Get off the Exit 2, your heart cajoles you. It warns you that you cross the next toll, and punch the marriage toll ticket you would be stuck worst. Get off you stupid ass, your heart shrieks. Beer, wafers, junk food is still better than being a domesticated ass who is not supposed to think, feel or express.
But as if under some spell, you follow the queue. Up ahead you could see some tails flashing their left indicator, getting off the highway, towards the exit. The traffic tries its best not to let them escape, blocking their way. A few scared ones, give up as they are too afraid to sport a dent on their cars. However, the gutsy ones persist. You sit there in your car, watching them get off as you inch towards the toll, ready to punch the second ticket, Marriage.
Exit 2 is well past. In your car, now sitting with your wife, ‘just married’ sign shamelessly displayed on the rear bumper, you are not allowed to look either to your right or left, just straight ahead. Your favorite CD has been ejected long back and some saccharine sweet, diabetes inducing love song is wafting through the speakers which you had spent a fortune on to surrender to the gut wrenching riffs and vocals. The car compartment has been cleaned, all packs, matchboxes, cans, ash cleaned up. It looks sterile, like a hospital ward. The nauseating car freshener fragrance is driving you insane. You steal a glance towards the passenger seat and you know that till you kill yourself, the passenger would never change.
Damn, this life, you curse and look around. ‘Dude, there are no U turns;’ your head gently taps you. But you are still alive with hope. You know that there could be another exit. Keeping your fingers crossed, cursing yourself, the wretched life, you drive. The air inside the car cabin is heavy. It is hard to breath. The last argument was just a Nano second ago and the last to last one, another Nano second. You realize that the entire conversation, between you and the co-passenger, are nothing but arguments. Every line leads to an argument and then the argument leads to another. ‘God, please show me another U turn, please,’ you silently pray.
Silence prevails, so does stillness. The car is stalled due to heavy traffic. Or is the lack of motion just a play of your mind? Someone knocks at your window. It is your father. You are surprised to see him in middle of the highway. Another knock on the other window. You turn around. It is you mom. ‘Damn, what are they doing here,’ you wonder. Not too sure which window to roll down first, you sit there, motionless.
To add to your confusion, there is another knock; this time on the windscreen. Your uncle with your friends is standing there. I got to be dreaming, you think. But then there are times when dreams and realty cross path. Your father, mother, uncle, friends, they are looking at you, with a wicked grin. You roll down the window where your father is. ‘Son, it is ok. This is life. We all have to go through this motion. You are being normal. Just have a baby and things would be fine. Trust me, I’m your father, I know it all.’ You are in a state of daze.
The knock at the other window is gaining intensity. It is your mom. You stretch out to roll down the other window. ‘Son, you are doing well. Now be a good boy and let me feel the joy of being a grand mother. You have such a pretty wife. How beautiful your children would be? Come one, give me a grand child.’Your uncle, your friend, standing right in the front of your car are smiling, enticing you to take the bait.
Pufff! Was it a dream? You are still in the car, straddled with your co-passenger. You look at her. Well, she ain’t bad either. The traffic moves, so does your car. ‘Should I make baby with her,’ you cant help but think. Maybe it will better the situation, you reason with yourself. After all, I have some responsibility towards my parents too, you give yourself another reason.
Up ahead, your eyes could read something. Exit 3, The Final One. God, do you mean it? Weighing the pros and cons of not having a baby and getting off the highway vis a vis having one and staying on, the car inches towards the third booth. You want to steer towards the left and take the Exit 3. Your mind, your heart, your entire being jostling for supremacy over you, trying to win over you with their own logic. You know the choice but then too scared to make it. You have always been scared, a weakling. After all, following is easier than leading. God, show mw the right way, you pray. Huh, as that is the only thing God is supposed to do. The Exit is still in sight. Your hands freeze and you cant turn navigate. The car rools towards the toll booth.
Exit 3 could be seen in the side mirror, fading. The third ticket gets punched.
Now, you are still in the car, driving on the highway, with two kids on the back seat, a dog, baby food, dog food, cosmetics, toy for the kids, toy for the dog. The cabin filled with cacophony, shrill cries, and sound of Pogo channel. Numb at the wheel, you drive missing being yourself, adjusting the blinkers, looking up straight, scanning hoardings with retirement plans, education loans, health check ups etc. Suddenly your eyes find a very interesting hoarding. It claims that the portal could sell anything.
You make a mental note of the website, wondering if it could help you sell your life too.
Well, not once or twice but maybe thrice in a day, I wish if there were U Turns. This obsession has made me discuss, research and decipher this topic more than a normal soul. However, I was not able to articulate the same. No until I was speaking with a friend who articulated it beautifully.
Life has only 3 exits. The first, Exit 1 welcomes you just as you have got on the highway of life. Packed butt to butt, with crawling and snarling traffic, it is be a frightening sight. With sweaty palms and trembling feet as you press the pedal, your mind is divided in two; to be or not to be. You are just out of school or maybe college. Young, brash, confident and overflowing with energy. Those dream filled eyes and hope filled heart knows no boundaries. Life awaits you, either with open arms or bare fangs, depending on the choices that you make.
Your first choice could be the first exit; off the highway on to a freeway, for good forever, exploring the crystal blue sky and lush green meadows. The choice is simple—of career. This is the point where you get lured by the comfort of a nine to five job, a secure conventional career, of being a doctor, engineer or an MBA grad. Though you know the unconventional, lesser known - lesser sure career choices too—being a poet, writer, musician, a painter, film maker, activist, a photographer, a model, even a hair stylist or a make-up man. But the lack of security make us shun them. Also, we know that the unconventional career choices only support exceptional talents. Mediocre in any unconventional career gets weeded out in no time, as there are no takers. It is only a 9 to 5 job that sustains mediocrity, also pays them. They day you choose a conventional career your first exit route is blocked. You have to drive on the highway, with no U turn, no side lanes for long—till you reach the next exit; Exit 2.
This second exit comes after long. Still on the freeway, fighting blaring horns, screaming people, letting the carbon monoxide fill your lungs, you have been sitting inside your car. Looking ahead of you. All you could see is a serpent like queue, slithering ahead. You curse yourself for not taking the Exit 1, getting off the dammed cursed road, living life the way you would have liked. You look around, searching for a U Turn. But there is none. Also, you are not as young as you were when you got on here. At 28 or maybe 30, the cells have already started to degenerate. It was just the other day when the first grey hair shocked you. Mornings, noon even evenings are not exciting any more. You drag yourself to work and back home, drowning pent up frustration in pint, everyday.
Get off the Exit 2, your heart cajoles you. It warns you that you cross the next toll, and punch the marriage toll ticket you would be stuck worst. Get off you stupid ass, your heart shrieks. Beer, wafers, junk food is still better than being a domesticated ass who is not supposed to think, feel or express.
But as if under some spell, you follow the queue. Up ahead you could see some tails flashing their left indicator, getting off the highway, towards the exit. The traffic tries its best not to let them escape, blocking their way. A few scared ones, give up as they are too afraid to sport a dent on their cars. However, the gutsy ones persist. You sit there in your car, watching them get off as you inch towards the toll, ready to punch the second ticket, Marriage.
Exit 2 is well past. In your car, now sitting with your wife, ‘just married’ sign shamelessly displayed on the rear bumper, you are not allowed to look either to your right or left, just straight ahead. Your favorite CD has been ejected long back and some saccharine sweet, diabetes inducing love song is wafting through the speakers which you had spent a fortune on to surrender to the gut wrenching riffs and vocals. The car compartment has been cleaned, all packs, matchboxes, cans, ash cleaned up. It looks sterile, like a hospital ward. The nauseating car freshener fragrance is driving you insane. You steal a glance towards the passenger seat and you know that till you kill yourself, the passenger would never change.
Damn, this life, you curse and look around. ‘Dude, there are no U turns;’ your head gently taps you. But you are still alive with hope. You know that there could be another exit. Keeping your fingers crossed, cursing yourself, the wretched life, you drive. The air inside the car cabin is heavy. It is hard to breath. The last argument was just a Nano second ago and the last to last one, another Nano second. You realize that the entire conversation, between you and the co-passenger, are nothing but arguments. Every line leads to an argument and then the argument leads to another. ‘God, please show me another U turn, please,’ you silently pray.
Silence prevails, so does stillness. The car is stalled due to heavy traffic. Or is the lack of motion just a play of your mind? Someone knocks at your window. It is your father. You are surprised to see him in middle of the highway. Another knock on the other window. You turn around. It is you mom. ‘Damn, what are they doing here,’ you wonder. Not too sure which window to roll down first, you sit there, motionless.
To add to your confusion, there is another knock; this time on the windscreen. Your uncle with your friends is standing there. I got to be dreaming, you think. But then there are times when dreams and realty cross path. Your father, mother, uncle, friends, they are looking at you, with a wicked grin. You roll down the window where your father is. ‘Son, it is ok. This is life. We all have to go through this motion. You are being normal. Just have a baby and things would be fine. Trust me, I’m your father, I know it all.’ You are in a state of daze.
The knock at the other window is gaining intensity. It is your mom. You stretch out to roll down the other window. ‘Son, you are doing well. Now be a good boy and let me feel the joy of being a grand mother. You have such a pretty wife. How beautiful your children would be? Come one, give me a grand child.’Your uncle, your friend, standing right in the front of your car are smiling, enticing you to take the bait.
Pufff! Was it a dream? You are still in the car, straddled with your co-passenger. You look at her. Well, she ain’t bad either. The traffic moves, so does your car. ‘Should I make baby with her,’ you cant help but think. Maybe it will better the situation, you reason with yourself. After all, I have some responsibility towards my parents too, you give yourself another reason.
Up ahead, your eyes could read something. Exit 3, The Final One. God, do you mean it? Weighing the pros and cons of not having a baby and getting off the highway vis a vis having one and staying on, the car inches towards the third booth. You want to steer towards the left and take the Exit 3. Your mind, your heart, your entire being jostling for supremacy over you, trying to win over you with their own logic. You know the choice but then too scared to make it. You have always been scared, a weakling. After all, following is easier than leading. God, show mw the right way, you pray. Huh, as that is the only thing God is supposed to do. The Exit is still in sight. Your hands freeze and you cant turn navigate. The car rools towards the toll booth.
Exit 3 could be seen in the side mirror, fading. The third ticket gets punched.
Now, you are still in the car, driving on the highway, with two kids on the back seat, a dog, baby food, dog food, cosmetics, toy for the kids, toy for the dog. The cabin filled with cacophony, shrill cries, and sound of Pogo channel. Numb at the wheel, you drive missing being yourself, adjusting the blinkers, looking up straight, scanning hoardings with retirement plans, education loans, health check ups etc. Suddenly your eyes find a very interesting hoarding. It claims that the portal could sell anything.
You make a mental note of the website, wondering if it could help you sell your life too.
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