Fine Is What Your Thoughts Say

It’s fine you see
It’s just an alarm clock
Set for a place you want to go.
It’s fine you know
It’s just your birthday
But it seems hard to walk through that door again.
It’s all good, you see
It’s a job, we all have one
And nothing will bite you when you open that email
That is, unless, you think too hard
Which you are, which isn’t helping
Because it’s all FINE
But you’re not believing it.
Your shower is fine
You could be in it.
It’s not hard to run hot water over your body
But you are not and that’s a choice.
Dinner isn’t difficult
But you’re staring at ingredients like you don’t know how they go together
But they go together IN A PAN
And you haven’t cleaned it yet.
Staring isn’t cleaning but you’re doing that anyway.
It’s all fine because you have friends
When you don’t call them, they try to call you
But picking up is scary because
Then you’ll have to talk about something, anything, maybe yourself
And it’s easier to let the phone ring out.
It’s okay, there’s always a good reason
And a way people can logic that you’ve stopped moving
And all you do is look.
Their motivational talk sounds like the things you hear in your head
Right before you feel guilty for not being able to do something
Because it’s all easy and okay.

It’s fine to be five minutes late
Even when you started forty minutes early.
It’s okay to need to catch your breath
When the room feels too full.
If everyone feels these things and they’re normal and not hard
Then clearly you’re screwing up somehow
Because the shower just isn’t a shower
Not to you.

Let’s be lazy and lay around all day.
It’ll be fun.
Sure.
Lazy, paralyzed.
It’s all the same in theory.
It’s all fine.