Operators Are Standing By

Penny’s always making stuff. And by “always,” I mean always. She’s made shoes and sheathes and pouches  out of buckskin she tanned herself. She’s made more piece of felted wool clothing than I can rightly recall. Spoons. Bowls. Backpacks. Pack baskets, from black ash trees she chopped down and hauled out of the woods on her shoulder. A hat or a dozen, though truth be told, she’s not a big knitter. Lately, she’s been working with wood more than anything, and between her and the boys and their various projects, the living room is about three inches deep in shavings and cast-off bits.

Me, I’m not much of a maker. I mean, I made a pack basket, and it came out pretty good. With a not-insignificant amount of help, I built this house, and to everyone’s amazement, it’s still standing. I patch my own clothes, but only because Penny flat-out refuses to do it for me. I’ve carved a few spoons, made a spalted maple handle for the blade Lucian made me. I like that knife. I use it almost every day.

Truth is, though, I’m not drawn to the handwork the same way Penny and the boys are. I like the cruder projects. I like sawing logs on the mill and turning those boards into buildings. Yeah, I like that a whole lot, almost as much as I like cutting firewood. But in the evenings, when Pen and the boys are generally immersed in some project or another, I usually read or play guitar. Sometimes I’ll join in, but that’s the exception, rather than the rule.

Anyway. This is all a sort of long way of getting to meat of this post, which is that Penny’s been having a real good time making the birch bark ornaments pictured here. Such a good time, in fact, that she’s made 274 of them (rampant exaggeration alert), and is offering them for sale to interested parties.

Now, these aren’t just any birch bark ornaments, because not only were they lovingly crafted by my wife, the bark itself was humanely harvested from free-range, artisanal birch trees raised exclusively on pasture (I realize that makes no sense whatsoever, but this is a friggin’ sales pitch, ok? Stick with me). The strings are made of hemp fiber left over from the plants we cultiva… umm, never mind. No, for real, they’re hemp.

Quarter not included, just for size reference

I ask: What would you expect to pay to have such an ornament grace your holiday tree? $400? $300? Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to tell you that today only (ok, well, maybe tomorrow, too. And perhaps the day after that. But THAT’S IT!), you can own one of these fine ornaments for only $8 (small size) or $10 (less-small size), plus a mere $5 shipping and handling.

But wait! There’s more! That’s because these ornaments are sure to amaze and delight friends and family alike, and are destined to become family heirlooms. Unless you get them too close to an open flame, in which case all bets are off.

Seriously. If you’re interested, operators are standing by at the other end of the Generosity Enabler icon below. And don’t forget to include your address!