Declared Accidental…

C.E. Grundler

I love warning labels.  They advise us that lighter fluid is highly combustible and ‘harmful’ if swallowed. They warn us a nice glass of rum will impair our ability to operate a motor vehicle and shouldn’t be consumed during pregnancy… while they neglect to warn that consumption of said rum may ultimately lead to said pregnancy in the first place. They warn us not to put plastic bags over our heads, that deodorants are only meant for external use, (..uhm?) and Q-Tips should never be used within the ear canal. And in case you weren’t sure, don’t use a hair dryer WHILE bathing, and playing around the transom of a running boat can lead to a whole bunch of bad ‘accidental’ type things.

These informative little messages are intended to steer us clear of hazards that seem ludicrously obvious, yet each time I see one, I consider that it came into being for some reason. Companies and organizations are warning us for our own protection, and theirs as well, because individuals out there have done the ‘don’ts’, and it never ends well.  Those labels are there to keep the general population out of trouble, and to keep the lawyers at bay. And it’s these labels that give me oodles of material for my ‘how to burn/blow up/kill/whatever’ writing file.

But not all potential mayhem comes with a warning, and that’s the stuff I’m ever on the lookout for. The news is a good source, and whenever I hear some fire, explosion, asphyxiation, overdose, etc, declared ‘accidental’, I go into research mode. Trust me, if you’re looking for inspiration, just Google “declared accidental.”  Accidents are recipes for ideas. What went wrong, why, how?  If you’ve read my books, you know why you should NEVER put an nice oversized exhaust hood in your glitzy kitchen. I’ve demonstrated fun ways to use spray foam, and the next book will show why you really don’t want to wear rings. Ever. (Finger Avulsion. Google it. Bonus points if you click ‘images’) This morning’s gem involves ordinary household items commonly found lying around. In fact I had them only drawer apart. I wanted to share it with you all because it’s so simple, common, benign, and holds the potential for so much death and destruction. And yes, I was testing this in the driveway at 6:30 this morning, with a hose at my side. It’s delightfully terrifying just how well it works. Here’s all you need:

The package for the steel wool does warn: “CAUTION: When working with steel wool, stay away from live electrical current,” and most would assume it’s to avoid risk of shock.  But no. It’s so much more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnVDayI-gwI

And thats all it takes.

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