Chapter 67. What Dreams May Come.
August 15, 2014
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"God never gives us more than we can endure."
If you are like me you’ve probably heard that expression a thousand times in your life. It’s that expression someone utters to you when things couldn’t seem to be progressing more miserably for you.
For me I think I actually recall saying it to myself in July of 2012 when the economy was tanking, my business was suffering, I had two children going off to college and I had just received the diagnosis that I had Parkinson’s disease.
It’s one of those phrases you use to try and challenge yourself to pick yourself up and push forward through pain and adversity because that is what is expected of you and yet it often sounds more like a taunt than a comfort. When we are down and out and feeling discouraged, hearing those words can cause us to feel like we are not measuring up. It causes us to ask, “If I am supposed to handle this, then why can’t I handle it?”
So did God really promise that? Does the universe truly know each of our threshold for pain and suffering?
I don’t think so.
Because with the recent and tragic death of comedian and actor Robin Williams, I found myself bitterly angry with that phrase and feeling like someone allowed the envelope to be pushed too far.
The truth of the matter according to 1 Corinthians is God never promised or said any such thing. What was said and has been misconstrued over 2,000 years was actually written by the Apostle Paul and refers to temptation and sin that we all face every day; “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it”.
A far cry from He never gives us more than we can endure.
The problem with the original phrase is there are times in all our lives when we feel like we are drowning and there is no one to help us.
The words that are meant to encourage us can often serve to only create discouragement. Worse yet, this phrase can tempt us to ignore our suffering and pretend it’s not there. It can lead us to believe the lie that we can do it ourselves; that we can handle it. Which raises the question, “If we can handle anything that comes our way, then why do we need anyone at all?”
We need to realize that sometimes we can’t make it on our own and that it’s OK to feel like we can’t handle it, like we are going to give up. When we become aware that life will give us more than we can handle and come to grips with this, then this is where we need to allow others to come in. We need to be willing to ask for help and we also need to be willing to offer help. We need each other to move ahead, and we need far more than tired old phrases.
In times when life becomes unmanageable, we need to be willing to walk alongside one another. When we do this, we can be with one another in the midst of suffering, helping each other carry the weight. Which means, that we, caring and loving human beings, have an opportunity.
When we are willing to sit in the pain, to walk with one another when life’s path is difficult and to shoulder one another’s burdens when they are too heavy, we become an embodied promise. We become living proof that while life can sometimes be too much, through the goodness of our capacity to love and the essence of God displayed within us, we can move forward together.
I have a dear friend who I love very much. He has struggled and fought tirelessly for years with bipolar disorder and severe bouts of depression. He has been both at the brink of death and experienced the highs of life.
He has read my blog with the commitment and passion that one would expect between close friends and he has supported me and championed me throughout my fight and my battle with Parkinson’s disease and he has always been the first to acknowledge my accomplishments and my gains.
I want to recognize him for the same and for fighting an even tougher battle.
Parkinson’s is a disease. Depression is as well.
Only with Depression they don’t hold fundraisers, and people don’t say “Oh, I’m sorry, is there anything I can do to help?”. They don’t cook meals for the family or offer to run errands and do chores. They don’t have a spokesperson who’s eliminated the stigma of saying “I suffer from Depression.”
But what he does have is my commitment and my love to be there for him anytime he reaches out to me for my help.
We all need to commit ourselves with compassion, love and understanding to those we know personally that are suffering and fighting through their own battles.
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“When my body gets to the point where I can no longer function or feel gratitude, then I’ll leave it and become grateful again. But until then, I will appreciate what I have and not whine about what I don’t have. I will feel blessed by life and the opportunity to help others see that they are blessed, too.” ~Bernie Siegel
More to come.
To read the entire story from the beginning you can now buy the book at www.tremorsintheuniverse.com
Tremors in the Universe Copyright © 2014 by Robert Baittie
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