Now Is Not the Time

I am in my cycle. I’m not neck deep, but it starting to constrict my chest. Generally this isn’t an issue. Normally, I can function at 75% capacity during these times. I have to pace myself when out and about in the world but that is easily done (especially ��living out here and usually not going anywhere).

However, this changes quickly with additional pressure and problems. I slip from 75% competent to 25% rapidly when stress, frustration, and worry are added to my life. Such is the case right now.

In a few days, am supposed to be going into the city for two weeks to watch my sisters cats (that in itself is not a cause for degradation of my metal capacity). All would be fine, except yesterday – for no reason – the truck wouldn’t turn over. Still won’t today, and although I haven’t done anything to cause it, she’s actually acting weirder than yesterday.

This complication, in and of itself, would be enough to cause my grasp on my mental competence to slip. Add to it the fact that I can’t leave my wife without transportation during the time I am gone, increases the problem. I am working with slipping mental control on a quickly shortening deadline and there are other factors in play as well, such as making sure she has enough wood for the time I’m gone.

The wood issue comes in the handy little form of, need gas for the chainsaw, need truck to get gas… and need my hand/wrist not to be overly sensitive and not always willing to work because I sprained it.

I am going to have to go out today and see if my hand will take using the axe to break some of the oversized pieces into smaller ones, in an attempt to combat the wood issue as best I can given the circumstances.

But that only alleviates a small amount of pressure and not the prime source of it.

So two days ago I was at 75% mental function. Yesterday, I slipped to 50%, and now I can’t find a hand hold as I continue to slide down.

Filed under: Homesteading, Mental Health, MIscellaneous