FAN FICTION: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #80 – Crazy Days BY ADRIAN J WATTS
What has come before….
LAST ISSUE: The Guardians of the Galaxy were whisked off to various points in MV1 Continuity, only to return to the middle of a battle between Galactus and Thanos, in which their ship, the Icarus, was blasted to shreds! Meanwhile, Doctor Doom seemingly went mad and fired Latveria and the two conquering behemoths, sending them out of our solar system for good.
Limbo
“Man, this just keeps gettin’ weirder and weirder!” Charlie-27 yells as he finds himself drifting in the endless wastes of Limbo. “Is everyone okay?”
One by one, the group, the Guardians of the Galaxy, responds. And each one thinks how weird their day has been. They learned that the “god” Yondu had been looking up to since they met him was, in fact, the mad Titanian, Thanos. And then, they were popped back to the twentieth century, to a wedding between Firestar and Justice of the New Warriors, where Vance Astro, their ally who they had left to lead a superteam one year after the wedding should have taken place, collapsed! Then, just as suddenly, they returned to the thirty-first century, where they found themselves here.
“So, um, what do we do now, Chunks?” Nikki asks. “‘Cause I don’t have a clue.”
Doomstadt, Earth, 31st Century
The Galactic Guardians and Guardian Force recovered from the shock of the very land they were standing on blasting off from beneath their feet. It had been a huge jolt, but they had been slightly warned by Doom and Mainframe slightly before it all went off.
“Uh, what was that?” Replica asked with a look of shock on her face.
“Perhaps we can explain,” Replica turned around to face a short alien, green like herself, but about half a foot tall. “We are the Impossi-people.”
“But there’s only one of you,” Replica said, her voice catching the attention of Firelord, he leaned over her shoulder and let out an audible groan. “Is there a problem, Firelord?”
“Not them…” Firelord said. “I hate these creatures.”
“Yeah, and we hate you, too, Flamey. Anyway, Skrull, would you say it’s impossible for me to be more than one person?” the little creature asked.
“Of course!” Replica said.
“Then I must be more than one person because we are the Impossi-people. Get it?” the creature asked.
“No,” Replica said.
The creature signed. “You Skrulls are so dense sometimes. We are the Impossi-people. We embody everything that is impossible. You say it’s impossible for Latveria to really be able to launch itself into space? It was us who made that happen, to protect you from Thanos and Ultron. You say it’s impossible for Hollywood to come back to life – again?” He waved his little green hands, and Hollywood appeared next to Replica. “We make the impossible possible,” the creature finished explaining.
“You can see why I dislike these creatures,” Firelord explained. “However, it is good to see you return, Hollywood, although I had not been made aware of your death.”
“Long story,” Hollywood explained.
“Now do you understand?” the creature asked.
“Not at all,” Replica answered. “But I don’t care. You brought Hollywood back!”
Firelord watched as Replica gave Simon Williams a big hug, then turned his attention to the Impossi-people… er, well, Impossi-person, perhaps?
“Creature, you claimed to be able to explain why Doctor Doom just rode his nation into space?” Firelord asked.
“Oh, that. That’s just part of the many ways we’ve helped you and the Guardians and the Galaxy over time,” the Impossi-people explained.
“How else have you helped us?” Firelord asked.
“Many ways. You would have died when you landed on that uncharted planet, had we not shielded you. Starhawk and Kismet would never have wanted to return here with you, and attack Era, inciting the appearance of cosmic awareness inside Gan-Vell, descendant of Genis-Vell, had we not implanted the idea in their minds. We protected the Guardians of the Galaxy from coming across a fake Barbara Morse Barton in New York City by tricking Martinex and Charlie-27 into visiting hell for a few moments before Kristoff Vernard could teleport them away.”
The Impossi-people gasped for air, then continued. “We made Galactus turn Alkhema into his new herald, in order for her to one day travel to the past of another reality and create an army of robots who we hope will one day be ‘more than meets the eye”. We made Galactus betray Ultron so that you could capture the adamantium robot, ending his threat to humanity. We used Vance Astrovik and Angelica Jones’ wedding as a place to transport your erstwhile allies, and even as we speak, the Guardians of the Galaxy from three months in the future have swapped places with them. And finally, when the Guardians of the Galaxy were struck by Thanos and Galactus, we transported them to limbo, to keep them from dying. Oh, and we did the whole Doc Doom riding on a country thing, but Doom was really one of me.”
“Oh,” Replica said. “How… daunting.”
“Yes…” Firelord said. “Now, can you transport us to Limbo, with sufficient equipment to return with our teammates?”
“No,” the creature said.
“No? What do you mean, no?” Firelord shrieked.
“You don’t think we would have helped you without reason, do you?” the Impossi-people asked.
“There is always a catch with you things,” Firelord said.
“Yes. And this time, the catch is – you must save my people!” the Impossi-people demanded.
An oddly green planet on the edge of the galaxy, 31st century
“Come on, Impossi-people! I will beat me now!” said an Impossi-people.
“No! That’s impossible! I will beat me!” said an Impossi-people.
“That’s exactly why I will succeed!” said the first (or were they the same one?). The Impossi-people struck each other, and they both popped out of existence in a blue flash… only to reappear, moments later, split into ninety-six separate beings!
“I will beat me!”
“No, I will beat me!”
“Wanna bet? You shall beat you!”
In truth, it was quite maddening.
Limbo
“Guardians, Martinex has a plan, right, Martinex?” Charlie-27 announced, not even trying to sound confident.
“No, Charlie, I don’t. Unless… hey! Immortus lives here!” Martinex answered.
“Immortus? The Master of Time?” Yondu asked. “And how will that help us?”
“Limbo is a state of time, Yondu. Immortus has the power to alter it, and thus remove us from it,” Martinex answered again.
“Sounds doable,” Nikki said. “But how can we find Immortus’ house, or whatever it is he lives in?”
The four Guardians of the Galaxy scratched their heads. None of them had any idea.
“Loki,” Nikki said at last. “Maybe he can help.”
“But he’s trapped in a helmet. How the heck do we get him out?” Charlie asked, only to be responded to by an angry, booming voice.
“THERE IS NO NEED, CHARLIE-27, FIFTH GENERATION MILITIAMAN AND PRESENT LEADER OF THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, FOR I, IMMORTUS: MASTER OF TIME, WILL TRANSPORT YOU TO MY CITADEL MYSELF. IN RETURN FOR ONE SMALL FAVOUR, OF COURSE.”
“And that is?” Charlie found himself asking.
“YOU MUST DESTROY A PEOPLE.”
The planet K’Rann, 31st century
Thor and Sif, with the blue-skinned wizard Meran in tow, stormed into the royal castle.
“What is the meaning of this — oh, it’s you, my lord Thor,” the king cried out.
“Where hast thou kept Loki?” Thor asked.
“Loki…? Why, you took him, master Thor,” the king answered. Thor immediately turned to face Meran.
“Where is he, wizard?” Thor asked.
“Er…” Meran tried to think of an excuse. He couldn’t tell them that he had given the helmet in which Loki was trapped to Vance Astro, now could he?
“Er… perhaps he is in the castle dungeon,” Meran suggested.
The Impossi-people Homeworld, 31st century
“It’s impossible to destroy me! You die, now!” someone said.
“No, you die!”
“But that’s impossible!”
And the planet’s population was multiplied by 96 again…
Immortus’ Abode, Limbo
“So you see, Guardians of the Galaxy, the Impossi-people must be stopped, to preserve the timestream. Their ability to make the impossible possible would be powerful enough to collapse the walls of reality in on themselves! This cannot be allowed to come to pass.” Immortus said.
“But how can we beat them? With power like that, they could easily put an end to us.” Charlie asked.
“You can use this.” Immortus concentrated and into his hands appeared a weapon, apparently made of concentric circles of various sizes travelling infinitely in all directions. “It is a portable Microcosmos. Simply activate it and throw it at the Impossi-people’s planet, and he will be captured.”
“Why can’t you do this yourself?” Martinex asked.
“I am forbidden to alter the timestream in such a way myself,” Immortus answered. “And besides, Ms. Marvel Adventures is about to be on TV!” He pressed a button on his control panel, restoring the Guardians – with a brand new ship to boot – back into real time.
“Wow! Look at this ship!” Nikki said. “It’s amazing!”
“Yeah.” Martinex agreed. “But now, we have a mission to accomplish.”
Meanwhile, on Earth, the Galactic Guardians were hearing more of the Impossi-people’s tale.
“Even as we speak, Immortus has sent the Guardians of the Galaxy to destroy us,” the Impossi-people said. “All 9564773547354563562465242 of I will die if you don’t help.”
“We’ll help,” said Phoenix IX, hearing the end of the explanation. “Let’s go.”
The Impossi-people merely blinked, and the Galactic Guardians appeared on the Impossi-people’s planet. It looked eerie, with the billions of trillions of zillions of creatures writhing over the planet’s surface. But merely a second later, the Guardians of the Galaxy, in their new ship, appeared over the planet.
“My god!” said the Impossi-people. “They have a portable microcosmos! We’ll ALL be trapped!”
The Impossi-people looked in terror as the portable microcosmos hurtled toward the planet’s surface. All but one, who, at the second of impact, remained outside of the device’s sphere of influence.
“Look!” Nikki said, from the ship above. “The Impossi-people… they’re still there, with the Galactic Guardians. Let’s go down and see what’s going on.” Charlie-27 landed the ship, just in time to hear the Impossi-people’s explanation.
“So you see, I managed to keep myself free, but Immortus is a sneaky one. His microcosmos has limited my powers out here, so while I can do anything in there, I can only do nearly anything out here,” he explained.
“Oh maaaaan! This is toooo confusing,” Nikki said. “I quit.”
“What?!?” Charlie asked. “You… quit?”
“Yes, Charlie, I quit. I’ve been with you guys since the beginning, and I never have a clue what’s going on. I always pretend I do, of course, but I never really do. And this is the last straw. I’m going to go back to what I was good at,” Nikki said.
“You know, I can make her rejoin…” the Impossi-people said.
“You stay out of this!” Charlie shouted. “Listen, Nik, don’t go.”
“You can’t stop me, Chunks.” Nikki said.
“Yes, Charlie, and if she’s going, I too shall go. I will be needed to help my people, now that they know who Anthos really was,” Yondu said.
Next, Firelord spoke up. “And being a Galactic Guardian had become quite tiresome. I need to go find the Silver Surfer. Maybe he will be more fun to be around.” Firelord flew into the air, and off away from the planet.
“Don’t worry,” Mainframe said to Charlie. “We will stay. Hollywood and I need a purpose, now. Something we can do together.”
“Yeah!” Replica said. “Meet the new Guardians of the Galaxy – Charlie-27, Martinex, Mainframe, Hollywood, Replica, and Phoenix IX!”
“Wait a second…” Charlie said.
“What’s there to wait for?” the Impossi-people asked. “You all ready to go?”
Everyone nodded, except Charlie. The Impossi-people blinked, and everyone popped back to where they wanted to be, just as Charlie cried out a loud “STOP!”.
And in Limbo, Immortus chuckled. He had planned all this. The portable microcosmos was none other than a power control device, and he had seized control of the Impossi-people, using his power to make the Guardians quit, reducing the team to it’s weakest members. Yes… he would strike now. The Galaxy was ready for Immortus to become the MASTER OF ALL TIME!
NEXT ISSUE: New writer! New team! No more Impossi-people! Have fun!
Written by Adrian J. Watts of SoftPixels.net
