Don’t Sing the “If Only” Blues

How many times in your life have you sung the “If Only” blues? You know how it goes:

“If only I had won the lottery.”

“If only my customer had completed the purchase.”

“If only my parents had . . . ”

Each of these refrains share one common chord: “The problems in my life are outside of me, and therefore beyond my control.”(A companion solo piece is the “Poor Me” symphony for an orchestra of one—you.)

I seldom sing the “If Only” blues, but whenever I do I quickly remind myself that, in doing so, I...