The “Compound Interest” of an Unforgiving Spirit

Last week, after speaking at a conference, a woman approached me troubled with one of my teachings in my book, The 10 Second Rule. The chapter she took issue with is entitled, Love the One You’re With. In it, I said that although we won’t always, “like” those we serve, we’re still commanded to be kind and generous to everyone, even our enemies.

She said her enemy is her mother. Apparently, her mother was and is, cold and controlling, and with the holidays coming up, as she said “I’m getting the sweats just thinking about spending two days with her without getting emotionally cornered. Are there some people just too toxic to “like” or be around?” she asked.

To her relief, I said “yes, there are toxic people who you do have the right to keep at a distance. However, I’d be interested in hearing why she’s still so toxic for you after 30+ years of living outside her home.” I wanted to hear what she’s done to try to heal this relationship or put proper boundaries on it.

Her answer reminded me of this principle I’ve observed in myself and others, we want mercy from God for ourselves, but justice for those who’ve hurt us.

I’m grateful God doesn’t take the same attitude with me.