CompleteMe.com – Part 3, The conclusion
continued – Part 3, the Conclusion
The one I found most disturbing was a woman in a family photo of herself and four children, one a baby on her hip. There was a hole in the shape of a man’s silhouette standing next to her and behind some of the kids. In another family photo she posted she only cut out his head. A third photo had her in a bikini and nine months pregnant. Her profile was heavy on how much she viewed loyalty as the most important quality one brings to a relationship. I counted she mentioned ‘loyal’ and ‘loyalty’ at least twenty seven times in the “What’s important to Complete Me” section of her online profile.
K went through hundreds of profiles and has had a grand total of five dates, all of which did not end well. One made him stop the car halfway to the theatre and asked to lie down across the backseat because she had not taken her lithium meds early enough before he picked her up. Another one brought her kids, two twin boys five years old, because her ex-husband showed up drunk to babysit and she didn’t want to leave them with him. K cancelled his five star restaurant reservation and took them all to Chuck E Cheese. The kids didn’t like him because he didn’t let the win at all the games so they cried all the way home. Another had used a photo from high school or college when she was about 200 pounds lighter. But K was a gentleman and took her out as planned to dinner and a movie. When he walked her to the door she jumped on him like a panther, trying to French kiss him. He barely made an escape before she dragged him into her lair. He said one of his dance moves helped him out maneuver her.
K had a close call right after he met date du jour. As he drove away from her house, Police cars and SWAT team Humvees screamed up surrounding him and over loudspeakers demanded they put their hands in the air and get out of the vehicle. They impounded his BMW and held him for questioning. Thank God he had printed out her profile and had it with him so he could prove to the police he met this nut case on CompleteMe.com. They booked her for murder three men she met online.
But the very best one of all turned out to be one the management of CompleteMe.com hand picked for K when he returned a customer survey reflecting his dissatisfaction and advising he wanted to cancel his membership. The magic words seem to be ‘cancel my membership.’ They sent a HIGH PRIORITY e-date-o-gram email to state they would select, specifically for K, a flex match. Now, he was getting somewhere.
What is a flex match K wondered. He complained to me that it was a sad day when he had to use a veiled threat regarding his membership to get their attention and deliver on the original agreement I said he should have done it eleven months ago. When he received his ‘flex-match’ he had to look twice because they sent him the profile of a man, an athletic man who had a college education and liked to travel.
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