Wildcard Weekend : Where Does Healing Begin?

I interact with a lot of wounded people. My books and a big hunk of my writing have been directed toward those who are beaten up by life, religion and too often by other people in the church. There is a better way. A song titled “Where The Healing Begins” by one of my favorite groups, Tenth Avenue North, describes that way.

So you thought you had to keep this up

All the work that you do

So we think that you’re good

And you can’t believe it’s not enough

All the walls you built up

Are just glass on the outside

All of those years of working hard (and then harder) to be Godly and I found out to my great sadness that it wasn’t enough.  Not only was self-effort not enough it was counterproductive to my desire to experience God’s presence and love. The walls so carefully constructed were, in fact, see-through to those who really knew me well. I picture that in my sadness and tiredness God smiled. He didn’t smile because I was suffering or sad. He smiled because I was finally ready for grace. At the point of brokenness I was ready for the healing to begin.



So let ‘em fall down

There’s freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground

We’re here now

This is where the healing starts

When you come to where you’re broken within

The light meets the dark

Coming to the point where I was broken and realizing my own inability to walk this journey of faith is where the healing began for me. Letting the walls down and trusting God and others with who I really am is where the healing continued. Understanding and trusting that I am completely forgiven and my past is completely forgotten is where the healing became real. Knowing that Jesus loves me desperately on my worst day is where the healing began to translate to the daily walk.

Afraid to let your secrets out

Everything that you hide

Can come crashing through the door now

But too scared to face all your fear

So you hide but you find

That the shame won’t disappear



For too many years I danced that awkward and ugly dance of hiddenness and shame.  For so many anguished years I thought that if I was a better Christian this wouldn’t, this couldn’t, be happening. If I prayed/studied/fasted/read/attended more church events I would be more Godly. I was depending on the wrong source.

When you come to where you’re broken within

The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides

With the dark inside of us

So please don’t fight

This coming light

Let this blood come cover us

His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins

I love the image of grace invading the darkness and sparks of healing flying as the truth about me was set free. I am a child of God who is deeply loved. For decades I lived with a God who I suspected had a contractual obligation to love me because of Jesus but who was generally disgusted with me. I fought grace because it seemed too easy. Not spiritual. Not enough sacrifice. Not enough obedience. Not enough…me. Paul wrote this to the Church at Ephesus.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.   Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2, NLT)

My fear of punishment led to strained and inconsistent compliance with a law I couldn’t possibly keep. Grace and forgiveness have led to joyful obedience nourished by gratitude and love. That is the product of the healing power of grace and I second my brother from Taursus. I can take NO credit for this.