Mars Day 33: The Papacy
You know, Ablo, I was just looking at the Forbes 500 richest people…and I don’t see any billionaire presidents…perhaps I’ve been going after the wrong position here. I see that there is a Catholic Bishop who’s doing rather well. Big McMansion, fancy car...fancy duds and so on. Do you think I’d make a good Bishop Ablo?
“Bishop sir…I thought we were shooting for supreme leader. What is this Bishophood you speak of?”
Where I come from, religious leaders are very powerful…more powerful than supreme leaders in some ways. I was just thinking that the Vatican seems to pay there Bishops pretty well…what with two million dollar mansions and all…imagine what the Pope must rake in.
“But Isn’t supreme leader the most powerful position?”
Perhaps…but with term limits, you only get to be supreme leader for eight years…you get to be pope for a lifetime…and then if you get tired of the position, you can sell your seat.
“Really?”
Yes…there’s precident. Pope Benedict did it about a thousand years ago. And besides the obvious perks…there’s a huge audience waiting outside your front door whenever you wish to give a speech. You’ve got a guaranteed free pass to heaven…and on top of that…whatever you say is true…regardless of whether or not it’s true.
“Sounds like a perfect fit for you sir…or for any politician for that matter.”
Very funny Ablo, but the Pope is infallible. That means I could do no wrong.
“And just think of the women you’d attract with so much power and money.”
Yeah…about that…well…supreme leader doesn’t sound so bad really.
“But the Papacy sounds like an even better job…why not go with that?”
Well Ablo, as great as the job is…you’re only aloud to sleep with little boys if you join the priesthood.
“I see…little girls are okay…but little boys not so much eh?”
You’re a sick man Ablo. You should really see someone about that you know.
“How about we doll the boys up in intern's dresses and put make-up on them sir…would that do it for you sir?”
One more word from you and I’ll make you an altar boy.
“Bishop sir…I thought we were shooting for supreme leader. What is this Bishophood you speak of?”
Where I come from, religious leaders are very powerful…more powerful than supreme leaders in some ways. I was just thinking that the Vatican seems to pay there Bishops pretty well…what with two million dollar mansions and all…imagine what the Pope must rake in.
“But Isn’t supreme leader the most powerful position?”
Perhaps…but with term limits, you only get to be supreme leader for eight years…you get to be pope for a lifetime…and then if you get tired of the position, you can sell your seat.
“Really?”
Yes…there’s precident. Pope Benedict did it about a thousand years ago. And besides the obvious perks…there’s a huge audience waiting outside your front door whenever you wish to give a speech. You’ve got a guaranteed free pass to heaven…and on top of that…whatever you say is true…regardless of whether or not it’s true.
“Sounds like a perfect fit for you sir…or for any politician for that matter.”
Very funny Ablo, but the Pope is infallible. That means I could do no wrong.
“And just think of the women you’d attract with so much power and money.”
Yeah…about that…well…supreme leader doesn’t sound so bad really.
“But the Papacy sounds like an even better job…why not go with that?”
Well Ablo, as great as the job is…you’re only aloud to sleep with little boys if you join the priesthood.
“I see…little girls are okay…but little boys not so much eh?”
You’re a sick man Ablo. You should really see someone about that you know.
“How about we doll the boys up in intern's dresses and put make-up on them sir…would that do it for you sir?”
One more word from you and I’ll make you an altar boy.
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