Confessions of a Male Model

“When you decide to pursue investing or whatever your fancy, do not underestimate the value of due diligence.”
-Jim Rogers,
A GIFT TO MY CHILDREN

Diary Notes from November 9, 1988Here I am dwelling on Amy Louise Platt once again.  I happened to come across a photo of Amy, me, and her friend (Karen) during my Christmas Party 1987 (last year).   I know Amy is thinking of me.  I’m holding my own. I still refuse to contact her.  She really made me feel like crap when I was feeling such emotion.  Que sera sera as Doris Day sings so smoothly.

I think I got the idea of modeling from Amy.   She was doing it a bit and suggested I give it a try on the side for extra money.   And now here I am going to classes at the ELITE MODELING Agency in San Francisco.   Why is it that I dread going to the sessions?  It seems my heart isn’t into it as much as it should be.   I already paid the fee in advance, so I may as go through with the program.   I’m a bit nervous about the big Fashion Show that is to take place in San Francisco in December.    Once I’m there it’s easy.   Some of the other guys are just doing it for the same reasons as I…just for fun and to see how it goes as we kill time finding our way.    Another nice factor is being surrounded by some other folks that look pretty good.   I'm becoming friendly with a girl named Dustin Nipper that I like very much.  Maybe I can one day write a book or shorty story about the 'Confessions of a Male Model'.   There seem to be so many stories behind all of the modeling contenders.   They're in search of a brighter path and definitely unsure of where the path will lead.
PHOTO: Michael Joe Armijo
I got my photos.  My color high-fashion headshot photo seems ‘okay’.  I know Paloma will like it because I’m wearing the suede/leather jacket I bought with her while in Paris in 1985.    I can’t wait to mail her a copy of that photo.   Maybe she’ll smile…maybe not. 
The commercial photo head shots were also ‘okay’.   I don’t think they’re the greatest but the agency says they’re good.   Whatever.It’s all a game.   That’s the way I see it.  I can’t compete with the Brian Buzzini Super Male model of the day.   Then again…it’s important that every model have one’s own distinct look.  That’s what they say at ELITE.   

I found the last Polaroid photo I took of Amy Platt when she was at my place the last time.   Looking at it tempts me to call her because this photo shows her humorous side.   I’ll let her call me though.  I refuse.
Maybe it’s just like flowers…Or like the gardens that grew at our old home.  In time, they grow.   But it can’t happen all at once.   Give them too much water, and they’ll die.  You can’t force them to grow.  Nature has its own rhythm—its own mystery.

His relationships were little more than fleeting, thrilling encounters, offering little more than an escape from the day-to-day isolation he felt.-Paul Huljich
BETRAYAL of Love and Freedom