Everything Would Be Better If...

If I could drink red wine
Or coffee whenever
If I could be thinner
Or cook a great dinner
If I had a cat
And a comfortable bed
But instead…

I have my own parking, and books line the walls
And I hate it, but laundry’s not that hard at all

But everything would be better if….

If I made good choices
And stayed in touch better.
Didn’t second guess
If I was a good guest
And stopped panicking
Over something I said
But instead…

I know lovely people who help me get through.
I bet lots of them worry about this stuff too.

But everything would be better if…

If I didn’t worry
About my big tummy
If I wrote a fraction
Of what I think I can make
If I could stop crying
From thoughts in my head
But instead….

I help people smile, that counts for a lot.
I live how I want to, work with what I got.

But what would be better, is…

If I had no money,
And I don’t, so it’s true
I’d be doing the same thing
I’ve wanted to do
Which is write and tell stories
And share them with you.

I’m allowed to be worried.
That is what people do.

I need to remember
Life is already great
I want to be greater
I’ll just have to wait.

I’m impatient as hell
and don’t believe in fate…

But I fucking believe in myself.
Sometimes.