No Longer Broken – A Poem

I went back.

Back to the

cliff, back to

where my life

had changed. I

wondered, vaguely, where

the wind had taken

the Broken Man,

that part of me

that he had

seen me as.

The most difficult

for me was

that, for a

time, I had

believe him. I

had seen myself

the same way,

until I had

set the Broken Man

free upon the

air, carried away

by the wind

to fly over

the Earth, destination

unknown. I did

wonder what had

become of him

though and was

determined to find

out. He had

been so loud

in my head

for such a

long time. I

wanted to see

what had become

of him. So

I climbed to

the top of

the cliff and

looked down into

the valley below.

I could see

water shining towards

the left of

me, feel the

air on my

face. The earth

was a rust

coloured soil that

crunched with rock

under my feet.

The sun shone

down like fire

on everything. I

looked down and

saw white stones

peppering the grass,

making a path

that led down

into the valley.

I started to

work my way

down and I

looked at each

of the stones

closely. I saw that

they were actually

the cards that

I had let

fly into the

wind that day.

The Lost Soul

was there, his

scream preserved forever

in stone. The

Forgotten One had

his back turned

to the viewer,

a crowd of

people stood around

him, small specks

of shadows. As

I made my way

further down the

mountain, some of

them spoke to

me. The Lady

of Sorrows cried

out to me:

“Stay with us! You’ll be happy here in your sorrow. Remember what was! Pain and sorrow are easier than joy!”

I moved on.

The Lord of

Treachery was

there, whispering

lies to me,

his voice like

a thick oil.

“I will give you everything. All I ask is everything in return. Of course, I might not give you everything you want, not really.”

I was on

flat ground now

and the line

of stones formed

a path that

led further along.

Each card was

a stepping stone

that I had

left behind when

I let go

of the pain,

of the hurt,

of the longing.

When I had

let those Tarot

cards from the

unknown deck fly

out of my hands,

I had instead

embraced love

embraced kindness

embraced my own

intuition. The unknown

cards all cried

out for attention.

I had already

walked this path

and chose not

to walk along

it again. I

did not step

on the stone

made from cards,

but instead regarded

everything I had

been and thought

of everything I

had become. Some

of the other

cards called out

to me. The

Knight of Knives

and Blood let

out a loud

call of joy.

“You’ll never be free of us. Here, take my knife, harm yourself, let others harm you. It’s what you know.”

“Never.”

I said softly.

“Never again.”

I walked quickly

to the very

last stone in

the path, knowing

which card I

would see. There

he was, sitting

on his stone.

The Broken Man.

I regarded him

with narrowed eyes.

“You look remarkably like me.”

I said. He

turned and looked

at me, smiling.

“I am you. I have always been you.”

I shook my

head with vigor.

“No, you’re not. You weren’t me then and you’re not me now. Even at my worst, I was stronger than you.”

He stood and

came towards me.

“Really? Then why am I the only card not turned to stone? Why did you return to the valley?”

I hadn’t known

why, not really,

but the words

came out quickly,

as if they

had been ready,

as if they

had been waiting.

“I came for balance. I came for perspective.”

“A poor place for balance, don’t you think?”

I shook my

head again. He

regarded me with

narrowed eyes, dark

with intense hunger.

“Not really. It shows me what I’ve done, what I’ve left behind and everything that I’ve accomplished.”

He laughed than,

and it was a

sound that chilled

me. His glass

legs shone as

if they were

made of diamonds

as he came

closer to me.

“You’re so weak. You know you are. All it will take is one false step and you’ll be back here among us.”

“No, I won’t.”

“And why is that, prey tell?”

I regarded him

and knew that

my inner light

was shining forth.

He backed away

from me then.

“Because: you have no power over me. And I’m no longer broken.”

At those words,

the legs of

The Broken Man

shattered into thousands

of pieces. His

upper body fell

to the stone

and I watched

as he began

to sink into

it, his sneer

now a grimace

of fear. I

knew how he

had felt, but

I was no

longer afraid. I

hadn’t been for

some time. I

watched closely as

The Broken Man

froze completely, his

stare no longer

frightening, just sad.

The sun became

brighter around

me and I

watched as all

stones from the

unknown Tarot deck

were wiped clean.

I looked ahead

of me and

saw other stones

were there now.

I stepped on one

and watched as

a Tarot card

appeared. I looked

down to see

what the cards

had to say.