Sometimes I think that if I miss him enough there's no way he won't come back to me. Does that make sense? Like God wouldn't let me sit here in pain forever. He would eventually give me what I need. i know that's so wrong, but I'm addicted to that thought.

Listen to me. It doesn’t work like that. All that happens is that you sit around feeling awful about someone who may or may not come back. It’s such a waste of energy it’s unbelievable. Let it go for the moment. If he comes back to you, that’s great. And if he doesn’t, then at least you haven’t been fruitlessly waiting.