POETRY: DINING WITH THE DEVIL’S DAUGHTER BY PAUL TRISTRAM

“Look, I am trying to be as diplomatic

as I can here but the answer is never

going to be anything but No.

You can flirt and tease as much as you want

but it isn’t going to work on me.

Anyway, even if we tried I wouldn’t be able

to get it up, I’m just too scared.

Yes, you’re pretty, and I’m sure that

it would be dirty and passionate

by the never-ending wicked bucketful.

And if you were an orphan or something

I would either be on top of or underneath you

right now but you are not, and I am far too

petrified of becoming your Father’s

after dinner ‘Wafer Thin Mint’

to introduce you to the carnivore in me.

But don’t worry, you’ll find someone else,

Jesus Christ, with a body like that

I should be regretting my decision

for an eternity and believe me I would be

if it was not for the thrill of that hair-breadth

escape that’s coming up right after dessert!”

Written by Paul Tristram