Probert’s Twitter Dictionary For Aspiring Authors
You know what it’s like: you’ve read somewhere that all writers must build their online presence so you join Twitter. You start frantically following people and pretty soon you realise that Twitter is populated by literally squillions of best-selling, award-winning superstar authors.
Fear not my friend. Here’s a quick guide that will help you break through the jargon and get a handle on what people are really saying in their Twitter profiles.
Me included.
Amazon bestselling author
On Amazon but not bestselling
Artist
Paints houses for a living
Aspiring fantasy author
Train driver who fantasises about being a writer
Author
Train driver who uses MS Word’s thesaurus
Author and grandma
Old person who’s never been published
Award winning
Never won an award. May have purchased one online
BA in film with honours
Train driver into Breaking Bad
Bestselling
My friends bought it
Book series
The same idea recycled ad nauseum
Coming out in June
Publishing it myself/announcing my sexuality to the world
Christian author
Train driver who seldom works on Sunday
Conjurer of words
Illiterate
Creator of the xxxx trilogy
Too much time not enough talent
Erotic author
Thinks they can write Fifty Shades/unmarried middle-aged woman
Friend of God
Deluded train driver
I write short stories
Can’t concentrate long enough to write a whole book
Now published book
Couldn’t get an agent or publisher. Did it myself
Passionate about fiction
Can’t write to save my life
Poet
Posh train driver
Published author
Self-published train driver who owns a Kindle
Reviewer
Don’t read mine and I won’t read yours then we can trade five-star reviews
Romantic novel
Lots of innie and outie
Romance writer
Sexually frustrated train driver
Up and coming new author
Apprentice train driver
Visionary
Train driver who has visited SpecSavers
Would-be writer
Honest train driver
Writer
Train driver who plays with MS Word
Writer of compelling fiction
Writer of not at all compelling fiction
Writer of humorous fiction
Writer of really unfunny fiction
Writer of epic fantasy
Writer of boring, badly written fantasy
Writer of strange tales
Writer of crap tales
Writer, mom, wife
Mom and wife
YA Novel
Thinks they can write The Hunger Games
