Keeping the Lines of Communication Open {& Why It’s So Vital in Marriage}

“ Something’s wrong,”   my husband said.

How does he do that, I wondered.

My husband can take one look at me or catch a certain tone in my voice and he knows something is troubling me.

After 14 years of marriage, we communicate very well — without words.

“Yes,” I answered with a smile. “There is something wrong, but I don’t want to bring you into it.”

“What? Why not?” He asked with complete surprise.

I struggled to find the right words to express to him that sometimes I’m not sure if telling my troubles to my husband is the best thing — even those personal struggles with feeling pretty or good enough for him.

But, I knew he was right.

There really wasn’t any reason to keep things from my husband. We are one flesh, aren’t we? We are traveling this road called together, aren’t we?

After a few moments of silence, I let him in on my troubles; troubles, that to some, seem small and insignificant, but to my husband, they weren’t.

Why? Because they were my troubles and he wanted to work through them with me.

My husband and I have faced some rocky roads together. Sometimes it was his personal trials, sometimes it was mine. There were other times when our entire family was suffering and we needed to communicate with each other.

We need to bear each other’s burdens. In fact, God commands it.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galations 6:2

Enjoying A Deep, Strong Marriage

Keeping the lines of communication open, honest, and yet loving has helped my husband and I enjoy a deep, strong marriage. It’s not just infatuation or puppy love. but, it’s a marriage based on God’s word and communication.

In fact, communicating and working through our difficulties together has made us a stronger team.

Many times I see a pattern in our marriage. Typically, when I am down, he is up, and when he is down, I am up. There always seemed to be at least one of us that can offer some encouragement and comfort. I am so glad I do not have to travel this journey alone for now. I have a husband, that when I communicate my innermost sorrows, he is there to lift me up.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Ecc.4:9-10

Though communication is vital in a marriage, there are times when silence is best — particularly when our tongue desires to criticize or tear down our husbands.

Yes, it’s best not to communicate in those times, but rather pray.

Our tongues will only worsen the situation. When our hearts are full of love and kindness, then we can seek to encourage our husbands.

In recent days, I have had a lot of drama and emotional situations come my way. I have been so thankful that I had a caring person to listen, arms to hold and comfort me and a spiritual leader to direct my footsteps.

Do you ever have those days where it seems a small part of your world gets turned upside down?

Don’t hide those situations from your husband. Let him in to your world. Let him have those hidden pieces of your heart.

As I look back over the past 14 years of my marriage, I am so thankful that I have kept the lines of communication open with my husband. Instead of telling a girlfriend or my mom, there were many times when I only told two people — God and my husband.

If the lines of communication in your marriage are down, try opening them back up by letting your husband be “in the know” with struggles, victories and issues that are present in your life.

Keeping them from him will only push him away.

You may be surprised at the relief, support and close-knit relationship you’ll enjoy from communicating!

Alison Wood is a mom of six kiddos, wife to one amazing husband, church-planting missionary in Southeast Asia and a parenting writer for online magazines. She encourages wives and moms at Pint-sized Treasures. Follow her there!

Alison is also the author of the very encouraging 25 Days to a Happier Home - a 25-day challenge that will help you create a happy home for your family.

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