A Preemptive Apology to the Profanity Police

I have been dicking around Amazon a lot as of late and I am continually amused by reviews by readers who profess to be open-minded libertines yet are apoplectic over the profanity employed by various scribes. It seems like every fifth review reads something like this:

I am the furthest thing from a prude. I've been known to chuckle at the satirical song stylings of Mark Russell and even some of the Capitol Steps less risque numbers. So I'm not some blue-haired fuddy-duddy who goes running to the