Friday Poll – Is It Possible to Date Outside Your Social Circle?
[image error]Rebekah and I have been talking a lot about social circles and the impact they have on your friendships and relationships in high school.
If you move around a lot like I did as a teenager, you get the chance to reinvent yourself fairly often. But if you live in a small town, it's a lot harder. What if you were into sports when you were in middle school and now, in high school, you're really into music? Do you still have anything in common with your old friends? Do you still even LIKE each other? What if you do, but you'd also like to get to know people with a similar love for music? What if all your friends have gotten into hardcore partying when the truth is, you'd just as soon chill with a few friends, some great conversation, and a good movie?
It gets even trickier when it comes to relationships. What if you've been in the same circle for years, and there's really no one of the opposite sex that interests you anymore? What if, instead, you find yourself interested in a quiet girl you don't know very well in Science? Or a brainy comic that always makes you laugh in History?
Because here's the thing; if we're doing things right as we move through life – always learning and growing – the people who suit us in 6th grade may not be the people who suit us in as Freshmen in high school. And the guys who seem perfect for us in 9th grade might not be at all what we want or need in 11th.
I think bridging the gap is totally worth it. As an adult, the circle of friends I had in high school has NOTHING to do with the friends I ended up with. I was kind of preppy. Growing up in Southern California, I spent a lot of time dating surfers and attending beach parties where I did my share of (underage) drinking around bonfires. Now, I have friends who tell me stories about being geeks, band nerds, punk rockers, and stoners. We all get along great, enjoy sharing our varied experiences, and have so much in common you'd never dream that we were so different in high school. And as an adult, I've dated guys from every end of the spectrum. I can honestly say that there are plenty of men that I wouldn't have considered dating in high school but who ended up being perfect for me as an adult. It makes me sad in a way, because I missed out on a lot of great people in high school.
What do you guys think? Is it possible to bridge the gap and date someone outside your social circle? And once you do get to know the guy or girl you've had your eye on, is it possible to sustain a relationship with them when you run in different circles?
Weigh in with the Friday Poll! And if you have tips for getting to know people outside your usual circle of friends, please share in the comments!
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