Never Can Say…

A week and a half ago I said goodbye to a big part of my heart. No, that’s not true. I don’t think I’ve said goodbye yet and don’t know when I will. All I know (and a part of me doesn’t even grasp that) is that she left. Gone. She was with us and things were fine or at least they seemed so, but on that Wednesday morning, after strangely waking up to answer an early phone call, she went back to sleep and didn’t wake up again. Nana went the way she always said she wanted. Not long and drawn out and without lots of fanfare.

Little did she know—though what do I know, maybe she knows now—there is much fanfare to be had. As a woman who has touched so many could never leave this earth on a mere whisper.

The loud, pounding, fierce, sweet, tart, savory, full, joyous, loving, yet somehow still peaceful beat that was her life could never go quietly or be fully silenced. It will go on in all who she touched. Forever loud, shouting, fierce, sweet, tart, savory, full, joyous, loving, hopefully peaceful & yes, still writing.

Never to be forgotten. Never to say goodbye. 

She was my biggest cheerleader and now I must learn to cheer for myself. Thank you for schooling me Nana. Rah Rah!

With all my love,

KMJ