Guess It
Go on, ask me what’s in the bag.
I won’t spoil it for you, if you like the surprise. But I have a bag here. It’s full. To bursting, even, some would say. It’s only natural to ask what’s in it.
So I’ll let you.
Do you want to? I’ll loosen the tie for a bit. Do you want to ask?
Are you feeling okay? Making sure you’re not sick. What a shame. How are you feeling? No, let’s keep on subject. You’re going to ask a question. And I’m going to let you.
Ask me what’s in here.
This bag. The thing I’m holding, you can ask about it.
Well you can see that it’s burlap, but that’s only because I like it. It should be a Trick or Treat bag. Not a plastic thing you buy from the stores, they have that now, that’s the new bags. Have you seen that? Remember when it was all pillowcases filled to the brim? I remember so much. My mother made me a special bag, just for the holiday. It wasn’t meant to be full, you see. Half full at most.
I miss that bag, I really do. I wonder what happened to it. It was unwieldy in the ways I liked, tied with YARN. Why yarn? Yarn disappears. It wears and frays and…. I liked it longer than that. I could fix it if I found it. But it’s not meant for having.
The concept of trick or treating and… keeping things… collecting things…. expires. It stops. You can use yarn. After a while nobody will use the bags. They think.
I have good memories of them. To me, that’s what this is. It isn’t, but go on.
This isn’t just Halloween candy after all. You know better.
It isn’t even Halloween yet. Soon maybe, but not yet.
So then what is in here?
It could be candy. It could. Stop struggling. It could be little boxes and bits of colored things, wax and corn syrup and food coloring, the kind of things we love to eat. It could be those things, all manner of them, I remember the smell. A sickly sweet smell. Chocolate and fruit and savory and sweet and just…. That’s the real smell of Halloween, if you haven’t stuck your head into a big mixed bag of…
Well I mean, are you really living? Here? In America.
Of course, this smells quite different. No chocolate here. At least, not that I’d have, ahah. This takes much longer to get, you know. You know a lot of things, I can tell by your eyes. I haven’t blindfolded those yet. So tell me, what are you seeing?
It’s just a bag.
But, ask me what’s in it.
I’ll untie you. Just the mouth but I’ll do it. Are you ready? I’m ready for you to ask.
Well it really isn’t fun unless you guess. Can you guess? You know twenty questions? I’m good at it. So try your first.
That’s too specific, start more general. No, by the way. No. Are you even looking? Obviously not.
Well. How am I to say? How are you to know? That’s not the point. I’ll give you that one, and I’ll say…. no. Make of that what you will. Stop crying, this is simple. What’s in the bag. Start thinking, start really thinking.
See, see you’re thinking now. Yes. Yes it is, and you have so many questions left and you won’t squander them will you? Would it surprise you to know I’ve played this before? How well do you think you’re doing?
It’s just a question. I can ask it to you, I mean you have seventeen questions left for me. I can ask a few of my own. In fact I can ask as many as I want. See? Now you can’t ask anymore. Now you can only nod, and cry, not unlike you’ve been doing. You don’t want that. So stop being so… difficult. It’s just trick or treat, that’s all it is. My trick is you guessing. Now quiet down and think.
You can see it. Can’t you?
Don’t be stupid this time.
Ah. Yes! So much closer, so wise. You have ten. Not two. That should be enough, I know it is. You don’t seem to have ten of almost anything. Not sure if maths account for brain cells, either. If you say hair, I can make you wrong about it. So don’t get sharp.
You know, of course you know now. So ask something interesting. How many people? ….Well, can’t you tell? Take a deep breath.
That many.
It took a while.
Ah, the scarf goes back on then. Is that why they call it a scarf? I’ve wondered, the etymology you know. I wonder many things. I wonder what your face would be like when….
You were right after all, so I can just show you.
This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed home.
You know what’s next?
Just nod.
Stop it.
This.
Little piggy.
What did he do?
He had roast beef didn’t he.
Where did he get it from?
Aren’t cows just meat? Aren’t pigs just meat too?
Aren’t we? Sometimes. Aren’t we sometimes just cells and muscles and blood?
You don’t like that but you don’t have to. You didn’t use up the rest of your questions. Try them now. Your mouth is full, but… it’s nice if you try anyway. Maybe you can keep yours after all.
So tell me. What did this little piggy do?
And this one?
You’re all out of order. You didn’t ask anything interesting. You didn’t ask what happened to everyone, or if you would be okay.
They all ask that. Pity, I had such GOOD answers but we’re not worried about that.
THIS little piggy went to market.
Thank you.
This little piggy…. stayed home.
For now.
Ask me again.
How many there are in the bag?
Do your complex math.
This little piggy cried.
All the way
to
your
home.
