How to Kill Cat Toys Like a Pro

Take that, you bad cat toy! You can’t get away from me.

Oh, excuse me! I was just having an innocent play session with one of my toys. Oh, who am I kidding? All cat toys need to be killed — that is why they are cat toys! But killing cat toys and doing it well takes skill and practice. I spend hours every day killing cat toys, so even though I am still just a kitten, I think I can show you some pro tips!

Here is the first tip: you must stalk the cat toy quietly and always keep your eye on it. The best way to guarantee that you actually kill the toy is by surprise attack, so you do not want to give it any warning. And you want to keep track of its every move.

Pause while you plan out your strategy. It is very hard to plan and move at the same time, and either the planning part or the moving part will suffer.

Then, when the time is exactly right, strike! The toy will never know what hit it.

As you can see here, Boodie is doing it all wrong. The cat toy can totally see her, and it will probably get away, or at the very least, she won’t get a clean kill. Or, worst of all, maybe the toy will feel sorry for her and just let her kill it. That is kind of humiliating.

I had to show her the right way to kill that cat toy!

See? She is doing much better now! I hope you got something out of my tips!
* * *

Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!