THE SUIT
The suit was probably a hand-me-down from my brother,
and I’m not sure where I got the briefcase, or the shoes,
but the baseball cap was my own: a relic from the years
I spent trying to be a trophy for my father’s shelf and failing.
Benched by my own dad.
The other girls were what they always were:
fairies, barbies, princesses and dolls, some babies
for the third year in a row. But I didn’t want to be
something so helpless, so kitten.
I pressed the stick-on mustache above my lip
and ran my finger along it, remembered the time
my brother cried because dad shaved his off —
he didn’t recognize him without the furry badge
that made him father.
I’m not sure if I shoved a sock in my underwear
or not, but I walked like I had,
like I inherited the earth.
The other boys tried to one-up each other
with who was dressed the most powerful: the cop,
the Power Ranger, the ninja, the shark.
But I knew, as they had taught me in school,
as life would constantly remind me—a ribbon
wrapped around my finger so tightly it draws blood—
I was the most powerful thing I could be. I was a man.
I didn’t ask sweetly for the with a curtsy or a please.
I jabbed my hand into the bowl.
I took.
________________________________________________________
by Megan Falley, from her new book
Redhead and the Slaughter King (Write Bloody 2014).
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