The Crypt Problem

So we’re blocking out scenes, and I realize I have the wrong goal for Cat. I know it’s the wrong goal because she doesn’t give a damn about it. Scratch heat for the winter.

Now what she wants is to get workers out of her crypt. Basic background: Cat’s living in the belltower of an ancient condemned church and really likes it. But somebody has workers excavating the church crypt seven stories beneath her tower and she wants them out before they discover she’s there. Also it’s her church and they should leave.

And because I am obsessive about structure and three beats, I want her to actively try three ways to do it.

The first one she tries on her own. All I could come up with was stink bombs, which just, no. (She doesn’t want to hurt anyone, so that limits her choices.)

The second solution is to get Toni’s Keely to do something with magic. What we do not know.

The third solution she hits on by chance: she accidentally kills somebody (he deserves it) and tries to use the murder investigation to close up the crypt. That obviously has huge drawbacks, but she works with what she’s got.

What she doesn’t have are the first two attempts. So Argh People, get in here and brainstorm.

How would you get workers out of an ancient crypt to keep your home a secret? (The crypt is open to the sky now because a big explosion blew the ceiling out of not only the crypt but the entire nave. BIIIIIIG explosion.

I know you can do this. You got rid of a body for me for Agnes once, remember? I’ve never looked at Coca Cola the same way since.

So how would you do it?