A Few of the Things I’ve Learned from the Internet
I’ve been bouncing around cyberspace for a while now, and I think I’ve finally grasped the concept. Well, almost. Most of the time, I think the Internet is fantastic. I love it. I’d never trade it for anything. I mean, Netflix has CHANGED MY FUCKING LIFE!
Wait… this isn’t about Netflix. Sorry. I want to share with you all, with the help of memes (which I absolutely LOVE), a few of the things I know for sure, thanks to the internet. Ready? Let’s go.
There are 1,885,582 sides to every story, but don’t worry, we can find them all on social media.
Narcissism is okay, as long as you have an Instagram account to store the bazillion pieces of your ginormous ego.
Everyone is good… and right… and just… and clever… you get the idea.
You won’t believe what happens next…
Candy Crush is the portal to the ninth circle of Hell.
GIFs make everything funny.
Sleep is for pussies.
If you use a word that isn’t a word enough, it becomes real.
You can find anything online. ANYTHING.
Password is not a good password. Actually, no password is hacker-proof. Just ask any suspicious girlfriend.
You’re supposed to drink Fireball whiskey on Friday, because… they both start with F?
Thursdays are a celebration of old, shitty pictures. Take a picture of said picture with your phone, and then post it everywhere. People love that shit.
Snapshots of food are cool.
Hashtags… nobody truly knows how to use them.
No matter where you go, or what you do, just keep calm.
Because… YOLO, right?
*Giggles*
Google Translate is a lying motherfucker.
Cats really are gods.
Nobody gives a shit about spelling and grammar. But I’ve drawn my line in the sand.
Everybody wants to be offended, so they can go on and on and on and on about it.
But smiley faces make everything okay.
Ain’t no wagon like a bandwagon. And the Internet is the mother of all bandwagons.
If you can’t say it in 140 characters, skip a few words, fuck punctuation, and eliminate all vowels. There. Done.
However, if you…
Then you should feel awesome, because you fucking rock!
Pissed off the Internet? Well, don’t worry. You can create a whole different persona, because on the Internet, you can be anyone you want with the right avatar.
And because no one is who they claim to be online, it’s okay to ask strangers for money. Sure beats working for it, am I right?
Finally, the Internet has shown me that I am an asshole, because I’m usually like,
But that’s okay.
And all that matters is me.
Tagged: facebook., humor, memes, social media, twitter
