How NOT to Find Joy in Your Life
Joy is tricky – it doesn’t come with a map or a user’s manual. In fact, many people couldn’t even define it if they had to. Yet, it is still something most of us try to find throughout our lives. While it would be impossible to offer some sort of “joy” recipe, there are certainly a few ways to guarantee you WON’T be able to find joy in your life.
1. Worry, About Everything
Worry is the opposite of joy. When you are worried, you are not living in the present moment. Rather, you are preoccupied with worries about yourself – a time consuming process that drains so much of your energy. Simultaneously, you have one eye fixed backwards while you look forwards and worry about your future. This is anything but joyful. Joy is about being present with yourself, about breathing freely and knowing with complete certainty that everything is right in the present moment.
2. Become self-absorbed
One of the fastest ways to prevent yourself from finding joy is to be self-absorbed. Self-absorption is linked to worry – it is also difficult to live in the present moment when you are consumed with thoughts of how you are being perceived by others. In joy, you surrender to the here and now. You have no problem being yourself, it just comes naturally to you.
If you want to learn more about Matias, follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
3. Seek validation from others
Joyful people do not seek validation from others. Many people extract happiness from their accomplishments and gain their sense of self-worth from what others think of them. They perceive their place in the world in terms of how they compare to others. However, joyfulness comes from the ability to be present with yourself. You do not need to seek satisfaction or validation from anyone but yourself.
4. View joy as a destination
The reason why joy doesn’t come with a map is because joy is not a destination. It isn’t something that comes at the end of your journey – if it’s not there to begin with then it won’t be there at all. Joy is not something you receive after you’ve gotten over obstacles A, B, and C. Happiness is not something that you postpone until the future.
5. Fake it
I believe that the common phrase “fake it until you make it” works in some situations, for some emotions. Joy is not an emotion that should be faked, because when you do, it comes back to bite you. Joy is a double-edged sword; trouble arises when you try to make yourself the master of joy. If finding joy is just part of another self-development project, it won’t work. You cannot force joy upon yourself. Rather, you first have to allow yourself to become happy.
I can’t give you the recipe to find joy, but I can promise if you do all of these things above, you won’t find the joy in life. This piece was inspired by Matias Dalsgaards’s Don’t Despair. For more insights on joy and despair, check out the book below.
Don’t despair
by Matias Dalsgaard
Available in print and digital.
$US 7.90**Currency conversion varies
Image from here.
The post How NOT to Find Joy in Your Life appeared first on Pine Tribe.
