PROJECT 25%: Day 1

Day 1 of the I-Want-To-Be-A-MILF Diet, and I haven't yet gnawed my own arm off in hunger. When Lily thoughtlessly smeared chocolate ice cream all over my face, I valiantly resisted licking it off. For lunch, we went to a Chinese restaurant, where a notice in the ladies begged "Do not put anything but toilet paper into the toilets". I think they may have fundamentally misunderstood the nature of toilets...

Behold, the following fascinating breakdown!Weight: 10 stone 1.0lbs (this is roughly how much I should weigh if I were standing on the scales while holding Lily. Target weight: 7 stone 7lbs)

Waist: 33" (target waist measurement: 25")


Breakfast: Two much-needed coffees, no milk or sugar = 0 kcals

Lunch: Stir-fried mixed vegetables with too many cashew nuts. One soggy mouthful of broccoli and garlic. Two pieces of stringy orange = 500 kcals



Tea: Pot of icy cold houmous = 450 kcals

Dinner: Potato and egg salad covered in ice from too-cold fridge = 250 kcalsTOTAL: 1200 kcals
Lessons learned: I need to turn my fridge down and not put anything in the toilet.