The Fiver | Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb

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Unlike the player himself, this Raheem Sterling story just runs and runs. Sterling, of course, recently signed a legally binding contract to become the worlds first seven-day-a-week, 24-hour non-stop footballer, if the self-righteous flak hes been copping all week is anything to go by. And last Sunday, he was caught bang to rights on camera in Estonia, having momentarily stopped playing football. There he was, sliding across the floor on his face, his legs no longer moving, having just drawn the free-kick that helped to win a European Championship qualifier for England, saving erstwhile Halmstads, Orebro and Neuchatel Xamax high-achiever Mr Roy the ordeal of fielding some very awkward questions. What an indolent wage thief! And ending up in the repose position, too, no doubt planning on snatching forty winks like some sort of communist, sleep paid for by you, the hard-working taxpayer. And dont get Roy started about the 63-minute bohemian sit-in on the bench, when the only discernible movement in Sterlings legs was a few muscle fibres repairing themselves! No wonder he was furious!

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