In Which I'd Rather Swallow My Tongue

I was listening to the nice, cooing mommy talk to her adorable baby boy when I saw it. I had just been wondering when my urge to pen another rant would hit, since it's been a while, when it came hurtling through my Facebook newsfeed like a ton of radioactive waste.

Naturally, it hit like a meteor and set off a chain reaction in my head, culminating in me signing into my site and putting fingers to keyboard, resolved to lecture the world and right wrongs. (We all know how well that works out, but I was determined to try.)

It wasn't her happiness at the start of a television show she loved that did it. It was the comments. Usually it's the comments. Everything happens in the comments, that's why the Michael Jackson meme. I just came to read the comments.

But I didn't find these comments particularly entertaining. They bugged me, actually. Quite a bit. Obviously, since I'm here to subject everyone to another bout of "I can't believe this, and this is why!"

Apparently, a few of the male characters on the show are generally considered attractive. I haven't seen it, so I wouldn't know. But I was forcibly made aware of the public opinion by the aforesaid Facebook post. Which I read with much distaste, lots of forehead slapping, and a few ?!?!?!?! thrown in for good measure.

What married woman would start swooning and daydreaming over an actor, or fictional character, in a television show?

Stupid question, I guess, since I didn't even have to ask the question to be presented with the answer in my very own newsfeed. Lots of them. Which shouldn't have surprised me, since the furor over ridiculous "literature" like Fifty Shades of Gray. It did shock me to see it in people I know, however. Call it my rose colored glasses, but I didn't appreciate my high opinions of people in general being smashed like that.

Maybe I'm overreacting. I've been told it's a regular occurrence.

Or, maybe, it's because my mother has never - ever - expressed such a carnal interest in a man other than my father, and I believed that to be normal. My mother loves my father, and would never swap him for any actor, singer, or attractive fictional character in the world. She respects my dad, and that's the way it should be.

So. I haven't seen the show. But even if I had seen it, I'd rather swallow my tongue than say one of the actors was attractive in a public place. For several reasons.

One, I probably wouldn't agree with the general consensus, so it wouldn't be true for me to say it. If I'm in a committed relationship, there is no one else. Period. Men generally considered attractive just don't appeal to me anymore.

Two, I find it disrespectful. If, for some reason, I were to find them attractive, I still wouldn't say so at all, let alone in a public place. Why? Because of my boyfriend. Because I'd find it extremely disrespectful to say something like that about anyone but him. Especially in a place where others could read it.

Come on, ladies. You're married. Why are you drooling over some unavailable guy, when the man of your dreams is supposedly linked to you for the rest of your lives? But you're going to gush about this unavailable male in public?

Just...wow. You vowed to love and honor him for the rest of your lives. Maybe my view is antiquated and old fashioned, but gushing about so-and-so being soooooo cute (accompanied by kissey faces and hearts) on your Facebook status isn't exactly honoring your husband.

I feel a little sickened when I read mushy posts people write about their significant others. I'm a believer that the most romantic words are said for one pair of ears. But that would be preferable to married women rhapsodizing about the physical attributes of some random male in a show or movie they are obsessed with.

Obsessing over actors/musicians/stars in general is pretty strange.

Wake up, world. The chance of you meeting them is slim, the chance of a relationship with them is even slimmer, and you'd probably find things you hated about them anyway if you viewed them as people instead of attractive cardboard cutouts - with conveniently marketed traits of your favorite book/movie characters.

There's something cute about a prepubescent girl squealing over a boy band. That cuteness evaporates about the age of twenty. It turns into full-blown weirdness once you're married or thirty, whichever comes first.

I've met girls with fixations on various actors, singers, or people in some other famous occupation, and, while I guess I can understand it, it always rather confused me. Why? Why do you screech over some guy you've never met? Sure, he might be cute. He might be attractive. But why? Why scream and swoon and drool over some guy you'll never meet, when there's a guy down the street that's nice? One that actually, you know, is aware of your existence?

But that doesn't even begin to apply to married women who act like this.

If a man spoke like that about a woman other than his wife, she would probably exact revenge in several million different ways. One of them possibly having to do with shaving off his eyebrows while sleeping. What makes it different about a woman doing it?

Even if your husband/boyfriend says he doesn't care, or doesn't mind, it should still matter to you.

You should want to show him respect. Even in ways he doesn't expect from you. Maybe in ways he wouldn't expect from himself. It's just a nice thing to do, for the sake of people you claim to love.

Respect : 1. Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements."she was respected by everyone she worked with" synonyms:esteem, admire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, look up to, revere, reverence, honor "she is highly respected in the book industry"have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of."I respected his views"synonyms:show consideration for, have regard for, observe, be mindful of, be heedful of; take cognizance of "they respected our privacy"
Freaking out about the physical appearance of a man other than your husband/boyfriend doesn't sound like you respect him very much. He's not holding the highest place in your heart or your words; that's been usurped by some guy on tv that you find attractive. And if that's not true, if he really does hold the highest place in your heart, then why are your words presenting a different image? Why is your behavior telling the world "my husband isn't enough; I have to stare at other men, and not just that, but squeal about them in public, too"?

If those thoughts are in your head, then perhaps you should consider keeping them there.

And if you don't respect your husband, you've got bigger problems.