A Free Book Report for Cheating Students Everywhere Who Would Otherwise Be Forced to Trudge Through “Romeo and Juliet”

I just read “Romeo and Juliet.”   I had not read it since ninth grade.  I had not read it since being taught it by the same English teacher who would somehow turn me off to all literature for the next 25 years.

I remembered being taught it was a tragedy.

It is not.

I will summarize.

Romeo is in love with a girl.  It is not Juliet.  It is a girl  named Rosaline.  He thinks Rosaline is meant to be his eternal love.

But Rosaline does not love him.

He wants to die.

He hears Rosaline will be at a party.  He